assistant potter

Connectedness

2012-01-24T00:41:00.052+08:00

On a recent trip to China, I realized for the first time that I actually felt at home there. I enjoyed walking anonymously in the streets, just observing the ordinary men, women and children as they went about their daily activities.

I even imagined that sometime in the retirement future, we could possibly rent a place for a whole month and just live the ordinary day to day life there. We could also find our way to the outskirts of the city, in order to enjoy some of the countryside scenery, which can be breathtakingly beautiful. Some Chinese nature paintings do capture the sight quite well - an old man standing on a hill looking at the distant mountains, the ball of sun at dawn peering through. In many places, there may also be music floating in the background, either the voice of melancholic singing, or the melodious sound of the flute or accordion coming from a street corner and wafting in the air.

And then the people... though they may be strangers, when I close my eyes and ponder further, I realize that we are truly of the same flesh and blood, no different from all of them physically, and with a long shared history.

Last month, I felt our connectedness to them quite strongly. And yesterday, Chinese New Year's day, I again experienced this same feeling of inner connectedness.

I couldn't help but close my eyes and pray to our dearest Lord, that He truly bless and take care of all who are within this circle of connectedness.

Advent Ponderings

2011-12-23T21:12:00.000+08:00

It's so nice to just sit and watch the flames of the Advent candles flicker, while the wax drips down slowly. It gives a very soothing and peaceful feeling. Together with it is also a quiet joy that lingers in my heart when I think about how, yes! God really and truly loved man so much - why esle would He go all the way in taking on our human nature with all its challenges and idiosyncracies.

I've come to know for years, that He is never outdone in generosity and love. So even if we think we love Him and try to do so to the best of our ability, His own love is still a million times more than ours! We may have a flame burning in our heart for Him, like these flickering Advent candles, but His own flame is really THE great big ball of fire. The fire of His love. The light that He promised He will never extinguish. One that He assures us we can always count on, even in times when we might feel impoverished and diminished like a smoldering wick.

When we started out listening to the gospels during this Advent season, at first it was just like the usual. But as the days have been passing, the gospel scenes resonating within leave me with a growing desire to cut down on the hustle and bustle of the usual activities, in order to get into the silent night of His heart, to watch and wait with the shepherds, Mama Mary and St. Joseph, till I can better recognize and truly welcome His presence in people and events all around with the same joy like in the nativity story.

May we all be able to experience this quiet joy during the remaining few days till Christmas, and also for all the days for the rest of our life.

Advent Possibilities

2011-12-19T02:42:00.030+08:00

The point when Mary realizes that "nothing is impossible with God" and when this certainty fills her heart inspite of the uncertainty of how all that lie ahead will unfold, is for me, one of the most poignant moments within the Advent story.

"Nothing is impossible with God." Nothing that is good is impossible with Him, who is the source of ALL that is good.

This line is especially comforting and strengthening when we are in the process of shedding off long-time and hard-to-be-rid-of attachments and ways, when we are tempted to think that our desire for change cannot be fulfilled, when we doubt whether our collaboration and partnership with Him can be sustained for the long term and bear significant fruit.

"Nothing is impossible with God." - a most beautiful mantra of trust. An act of love that flowed through Mary's heart, and one that we can let flow within our own heart and mind and will too :-)

Christmas Rose

2011-11-28T23:21:00.071+08:00

I like to think of the poinsettia as the 'Christmas rose'.

The red of the rose is very attractive, especially against the backdrop of green leaves. During Valentines and other many special occassions, roses are given and received as a symbol of love. During the feast of St. Therese, her image is adorned with roses, in honor of her special way of loving Christ: great love through 'the little way'.

Similarly, poinsettias usually have very attractive red petals, and these are additionally highlighted by the green leaves underneath. The reds and greens of Christmas. The moment poinsettias are in sight, you know that Advent, as well Christmas, is really here.  And when you no longer see poinsettias around, you have to concede that the season is over. How synchronized its timing is with this special occassion.

More than color though, what the poinsettia has in common with the rose is its connection with love. Like the rose, the poinsettia in its association with Christmas, can also be seen as a symbol of love:  Love that reached out to us in the form of a fragile, vulnerable baby born in a poor manger. Love that chose to take on flesh and blood like our own, because He is truly in love with us, His special creation. "Love that's freely given, and that wants to freely be received... Love that longs to share His life with us, in hopes that it will grow... and until He finally calls us home..."

The Christmas rose...  reaching out, indwelling, waiting to be loved back... our dear God, WHO IS Love!

Identity

2011-11-27T03:09:00.075+08:00

Photo by R. Gross

"And yet, Yahweh, you are our Father;

we are the clay and you are our potter;

we are the work of your hand."

- Isaiah 64:7

Faith and Courage

2011-11-09T16:13:00.039+08:00

There is a cute, old song by Frank Sinatra entitled, "Love and Marriage" where the lyrics go, "Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage." Using the same tune, my mind however has been playing the lyrics, "Faith and courage, faith and courage, go together like a horse and carriage"...

I find that the more I desire to move towards greater courage in my choices and actions, the more it is my faith that becomes strengthened. Faith in Him. Faith that it is He who plants this desire for greater courage. Faith that it is us together who will move forth in pursuit of His Will. And the more my faith grows, the more I am able to gather the courage and confidence to let go of security blankets and venture outside of comfort zones. Faith and courage. One can't do without the other. They are so interlinked.

Lately, I have also been reflecting on courage as experienced during yoga classes. For one not really physically inclined, working on the seemingly unreachable and difficult yoga poses (e.g. shoulder stand!?!, back bends using the chair, all kinds of literally challenging stretch poses, etc.) has taught me that as long as our spirit desires to have courage, and if the mind wills it, the body can eventually achieve the goal, albeit little by little. Stretch.. stretch...stretch... until one day, the happy discovery that "Oh my gosh, I can do it!" arrives.

The amazing interaction between the body, mind and spirit can really give birth to faith and courage - not only in yoga, but in all else that matters with our life :-)

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Little Flower

2011-10-01T00:03:00.192+08:00

Today we honor St. Therese of Lisieux. Through her writings, she showed us how great love for Him can be so real in even the littlest flower that she considered herself to be. She reminds me of this short but meaningful poem:

Flower in the crannied wall,

I pluck you out of the crannies,

I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,

Little flower -- but if I could understand

What you are, root and all, all in all,

I should know what God and man is.

- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

October 1 every year is also what I consider the start of a new spiritual year... a special day of renewal of offering and commitment...

Dearest Lord,

Grant me the grace to respond to your invitation
To assist those You hold most dear in Your Heart:
The least, the lost, the vulnerable,

To know and experience
The faithfulness and tenderness of Your love.

May this be done with complete trust
And nothing less than love for You.
Amen.

Stillness...in His Hands

2011-09-23T01:38:00.037+08:00

It is hard to describe with words what the experience of inner stillness is... it's something that is just felt. The moments when you just know that you are exactly where He wants to you be at this time... with the people He wants you to be with... doing exactly what He wants you to do for now... and, just being able to be totally yourself, because you know that that is also exactly how He really wants you to be for Him.. for always.

It is in these moments of stillness within you that you just know without a doubt, from the deepest part of you, how truly loved you are by Him, and that He will never cease carrying you in the palm of His Hands...

Perhaps these moments of inner stillness and certitude of His abiding love, are what St. Augustine was referring to when he said that our hearts stay restless until they finally find rest in Him.

Thank you, dearest Lord, for this precious gift of stillness... in Your hands!

All Good Gifts

2011-08-05T02:56:00.006+08:00

The weather has been alternating - sunny for days, then rainy for a week, then the sun comes out again, then it rains again... and the cycle continues. Every morning , my favorite moment is scanning the grass in the garden and noticing how the mostly brown land gradually becomes green from the inching upward of the grass and after having drunk up a lot of rainwater. Even the portions that were mostly brown soil start to acquire their green color as the roots of the grass from the area beside make their way there and fill out the spaces.

The flowers too, continue their cycle of budding, blooming and dying, budding anew, blooming anew, withering anew. When one dies, it simply means that new life can now succeed it..

Our life is like the fields - whether these be garden grass and flowers, or farmlands. We go through definite cycles of birthing, growing, maturing and dying, birthing anew, growing anew, struggling anew, deepening understanding anew, then letting go of things anew to give way for the new seeds of what matter most, to emerge...

The beauty of being in midlife is that we gain the eyesight to see what we may not have seen before... to recognize the Hand that tills us, to know the Heart that swells the grains within us, and to realize that there is the Compassionate Love that has always showered us with "all good gifts".

******

We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on the land..
But it is fed and watered by God's almighty hand..

He sends us snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain...

The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain...

All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above

So thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love...

We thank thee then, O Father, for all things bright and good,

The seedtime and the harvest, our life our health our food,

No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts

But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!

All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above..

So thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love..

I really wanna thank you Lord!

- music by Stephen Schwartz, "Godspell"

Crossroads Surrender

2011-06-20T19:47:00.040+08:00

I’ve got nothing on my mind: nothing to remember,
Nothing to forget. and I’ve got nothing to regret,
But I’m all tied up on the inside,
No one knows quite what I’ve got;
And I know that on the outside
What I used to be, I’m not anymore.

You know I’ve heard about people like me,
But I never made the connection.
They walk one road to set them free
And find they’ve gone the wrong direction.

But there’s no need for turning back
`cause all roads lead to where I stand.
And I believe I’ll walk them all
No matter what I may have planned.

Can you remember who I was? can you still feel it?
Can you find my pain? can you heal it?
Then lay your hands upon me now
And cast this darkness from my soul.
You alone can light my way.
You alone can make me whole once again.

We’ve walked both sides of every street
Through all kinds of windy weather.
But that was never our defeat
As long as we could walk together.

So there’s no need for turning back
`cause all roads lead to where we stand.
And I believe we’ll walk them all
No matter what we may have planned.

- Crossroads by Don McLean

A lot of us are on the road to or have already crossed the "golden" or "50" line, and have become more conscious of the changes in ourselves as our journey through life continues. Even for those who go through life as if always in a rush, the call to stop for a while and reflect on where we stand also catches up. Sometimes this happens when someone dear passes on, or when our children need us less or leave home, or when we undergo an illness, or a major change in occupation. We find ourselves standing at a still point where activity used to be. We look behind and see the many crisscrossed roads we've taken, while ahead of us lie just as many possiblities and directions. Where to go next? What to do? How far more to reach and what will I find along the path? Who can I count on for support, and whom do I support? Upto how long will I live? How do I really make the most of what I've got? Can I really give my all?

We can take some comfort in the lyrics:

So there’s no need for turning back
`cause all roads lead to where we stand.
And I believe we’ll walk them all
No matter what we may have planned.

We could just try to enjoy the journey, and trust that whatever road we take will eventually lead to another, and to still other roads... until we finally encounter all the good which we were meant to give and receive along the way.

We could also reframe Don McLean's words so that we experience the journey as our special walk with Him, our beloved Lord, where

You alone can light my way.

and

We’ve walked both sides of every street
Through all kinds of windy weather.
But that was never our defeat
As long as we could walk together.

As we walk together with our Lord, we surrender to Him all we've got and all we are.. so that the journey becomes double exciting. Hmm, a "sweet surrender"... this sounds like the lyrics of another song :-)

Mindfulness

2011-06-12T20:57:00.006+08:00

While enjoying "window shopping" at Manila Seedling Bank yesterday, this very pretty and interesting flower caught my eyes - the way the pink and the white intermingled, the cleanliness of its look, and the funny looking bright yellow centerpiece that seemed almost artificial. It was so nice that I just had to take its picture. Then I noticed a little bee come and rest itself on the yellow center, probably to suck something off from it.

How refreshing it felt to just keep still and keep watching the flower and the bee! There was so much to see and stay with... while drinking in the beautiful and vibrant color of the flower.

While driving home after, I realized that that's what it means to stay in the present moment.

It felt great!

Time in a Bottle

2011-06-11T02:47:00.003+08:00

Our family dinner time as we have it today is what I would like to capture and save it in a bottle and preserve it forever.

We start eating between 9:00 to 9:30pm, which is quite late (a la Madrid time daw). It's already bedtime for many households. And yet for us, sleepy or not sleepy, we gather together at this hour. We are usually complete by this time - my husband and I, our children, and my mom. Though busy with our own activities throughout the day, during supper we sit and talk. Conversation can center around a variety of topics ranging from school, work, the latests from current events and familiar people, or stories from family history, politics, religion, values, etc. Or, we can just stay sleepy and not say much of anything.

Some times the occassion even turns into either a mini-business course, at other times almost like a debate session (whew!). Or, an attitude building discourse or sermon on the mount :-). Or a trip down memory lane. You'd be surprised that it's not only us midlifers who sometimes talk about the past, but even our transitioning adolescent-to-young adult children also bring up something they remember fondly from their own childhood.

For me, whatever we talk about matters less than just the beautiful fact that we are all together, and have this chance to listen and be present to, as well as share with each other in person: how the day went, what called for more attention, what was meaningful... Even my mom who is usually quiet, seems to enjoy just being there with us.

Haaaaay, what grace, what gift we have in this ordinary everyday moment! A blessing that not too many families nowadays can enjoy due to the complexities and demands of modern living that often make it difficult for nuclear families to be complete for mealtime daily.

One day things will necessarily change for us, as our family moves on into its next stages. But for now, I will really just choose to enjoy this gift we have each night.

Yes, "If I could save time in a bottle," I'd put our family mealtime as we experience it today, right in there :-)

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In Contemplation

2011-05-22T01:38:00.200+08:00

photo by Fr. A. Bugtas, S.J.

As from the sun, descend the rays*

As from the fountain, the waters*

As from the Spirit, births new life

As from the heart, flows Divine Love

Divine Majesty
Fountain full of life

Spill forth your spirit
In sparkling showers

Enlighten all searching

Lavish on all thirsting

Renewal and healing

Your labour unceasing

You dwell within us

Generous Giver
Of all that is good
Dear self-giving God

Take now my whole heart

And all of my soul
Everything for you
With deep love and thanks

~ o ~

* from The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, A Literal Translation

I Know My Sheep

2011-05-15T18:33:00.011+08:00

"I am the Good Shepherd... I know my sheep and my sheep know me..." These lines have lingered in my mind and heart recently. It really strikes me how Jesus tried to convey to us with these words the type of love our Lord God has for us. He was not referring to a relationship of authority - a shepherd having authority over subordinate sheep. Or just about duty - a shepherd having a duty to look after the flock. The use of the word "know" touches me. He knows each and every sheep. Though they all sport fuzzy white wool, he is fully aware of who are present and who strays.. or is lost. He knows where the stray one might head for, and where to find it. In like manner, the sheep can recognize right away when it is its shepherd's voice. It feels at home, it feels safe. It even knows that the good shepherd will come looking for it and will still swoop it up into his arms and hold it close inspite of its having strayed away from the flock.

I am amazed that Jesus used this metaphor to describe our relationship with our God. If He used this, it could only be truth. Truth that this is a relationship of deep caring and intimate loving. He could have stopped at, "I am the shepherd and you are the sheep." but instead He made sure that He described this love as: "I know my sheep and my sheep know me...", and more than that, "For these sheep, I will give my life..."

Truly our Good Shepherd.

He Gave Us His All

2011-04-19T20:17:00.002+08:00

While praying over the Last Supper, it dawned on me that this was one of the most beautiful scenes in the life of Jesus - the moment when Jesus, amidst his turmoil of emotions due to frustrations over hypocritical structures, anger and hurt over fickleness and betrayals, and also sadness over the little limited time He had left, still stayed very focused on his mission to impart his Father's love to us. This He did during the Last Supper by giving us the gift of his very self in the form of the bread and the wine which He clearly said was his very body and blood. Bread blessed, broken and then shared. Wine blessed and then shared. Nothing less than He himself that was soon to be broken was being shared. His own very flesh and blood given!

It was more than enough that He had already reached out to so many people, including the most unwanted or shunned, performed miracles and told parable after parable about his Father's generous and forgiving love, assured us that He was the Good Shepherd who knew and loved every one of his sheep, that like the woman who continued to search unceasingly for her lost coin, He would always be here for us. His teachings were well documented and would stay a source of rich inspiration for generations to come.

But no, even in his last, most difficult moments on earth, He still very deliberately gave us this precious gift of his whole self as manifested in the Eucharist - His very self that would endure so much suffering and even death out of love for us. In giving us the gift of the Eucharist, He gave us His all - forever!

Two thousand years since that memorable Last Supper, the Eucharist as well as the Blessed Sacrament, which we know as his True Presence, continues to affect us deeply. Sitting and praying before the Blessed Sacrament, or receiving Him into our own body and soul at mass, we are drawn closer each time to His loving and lifegiving heart. How amazing that this continues to this day! How fortunate for us that He chose to give us His all!

My dearest Lord,

In the Eucharist

You gave us everything

Each and every and all of you.

Teach me now to do the same

To give you the whole of me

The each and every and all of me

To genuinely imitate the way

You gave us Your all

Amen.

Finding God on the Roll

2011-04-13T01:20:00.005+08:00

Last week, we celebrated our daughter's birthday in a rather unique and creative way, by going to Enchanted Kingdom. We plotted our series of rides, intentionally leaving the roller coaster for the climax. Our children had no second thoughts about it - they were going to ride! The roller coaster was precisely the reason why we chose to go to this place.

I found myself wanting to do the same, but also very scared. Just looking at the coaster from afar was enough to tense up my whole system. Three times the coaster would be totally upside down! This was really a challenge for one who easily gets dizzy from an octopus ride, or that sinking feeling on a ferris wheel on its way down. There was a part of me though, that really wanted to do it. Perhaps this was a midlife urge - to break away from old fears and to move forward with a new way of living more daringly and courageously.

Then it was time!  My hands grew cold, my heart felt tight. Until I decided to resort to the one sure way I knew would bring inner strength and peace - the act of surrender, of entrusting the whole of my being to Him. So when we were finally seated (at the very front row, for that is what these most daring kids of ours wanted!) and strapped securely in place, I decided to close my eyes and pray, "Lord, envelope me with your presence and be with me all the way so that I can survive and even enjoy this ride!"

Then the roller coaster began to move, swinging backward, lunging forward, curling up and circling 360 degrees, then with growing momentum, again lunging forward and then circling 360 degrees for the second time, then upon dropping down, quickly circling 360 degrees for the third time, and so on and so forth. Everything happened so fast, and people were screaming. I remained very quiet thoughout, while my eyes saw only darkness. I did feel some push and pull movement, the cool wind, and the security of the two straps, which all throughout I imagined to be Jesus arms holding me securely in place!)  Then in a short while, the whole ride was over. (What! So soon?!)

We made it, hooray!! But my real joy was internal. I felt that this roller coaster ride was a real encounter with the Lord. A very special moment of feeling securely wrapped with His presence, a moment when fear was relegated to the back while the choice to just place myself in His hands and surrender my fears to Him enabled me to experience inner peace and courage.

Who could have imagined that a roller coaster ride would turn into a graced encounter, a memorable spiritual experience!

Finding God on the roll...

I'd gladly do it again, but next time, perhaps with eyes wide open!

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I Will Be Here

2011-03-28T12:18:00.003+08:00

I like this old song (popularized by Gary Valenciano) very much because the words provide much consolation during moments when I feel most vulnerable and alone. Like a child in need of a hand to hold on to, and in need of another's eyes that can show the way through the dark, I listen to every word of the song and am again reminded of what He asks: "Trust me. I will be here."

I WILL BE HERE

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up

And the sun does not appear

I...I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like bein' quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to cryin'

Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'

We'll be together

'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I...I'll be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

I...I will be here

I will be here

You can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you

And I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true

To the promise I have made

To you and to the

One who gave you to me

I...I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

'Cause I...

I will be here....

We'll be together, forever

'Cause I will be here

I will be here

- Steven Chapman

These words also ring true for how I feel towards those entrusted to my care:

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like bein' quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And especially,

I will be true

To the promise I have made

To you and to the

One who gave you to me

But in their need of a hand to hold on to, and of eyes to help them see through the darkness of their own vulnerabilities, instead of saying, "Trust me," what I share with them is,

"Trust Him. He will be here."

Rhythms in our Life

2011-03-26T03:42:00.018+08:00

I smile to myself whenever I notice a plant in the garden that I had given up as withered suddenly come to life again with the budding of a new flower.

I am reminded of the song goes, "Everything has a season, everything has its time..."

Sometimes we force something to happen by driving ourselves and others so hard towards a certain desired outcome, to no avail. But when we stop trying too hard, and instead just listen to the underlying rhythm.. when we give ourselves permission to just let things be for the moment.. oftentimes we realize that whatever it is we were hoping to achieve does fall into place. In its own time and way, it comes toward us very subtly, gradually, peacefully. His "Invisible Hand" silently works to bring us our heart's desire, without our having to expend a lot of energy for it.

Of course there are some outcomes that will never materialize unless we put in effort. But there are also many occassions where our own efforts result in very little outcome, especially when the timing is not right, or when something is really not yet ready to surface.

The best kind of flow is one which respects the underlying rhythms in our life. One which moves us towards patience, perseverance, and the art of waiting. Not a passive waiting but rather the active trusting and believing that He watches over us and will actively give us all that is good, within the right time.

When our rhythm is synchronized with His rhythm, new beginnings and new life flows naturally,

even from the most seemingly withered or unlikely situations.

St. Joseph of Nazareth

2011-03-19T17:02:00.002+08:00

The "hidden years" of Jesus, which consisted of his early childhood years till the age of thirty when he began his public ministry, must have been very special years for him in the company of Mama Mary and St. Joseph.

Joseph was Jesus' first teacher in the school of love. How many times the child Jesus and his playmates must have climbed up Joseph's lap to listen to his stories about Abraham or Moses and how God loved and spoke with them. How often Joseph must have walked with the young Jesus around the neighborhood, showing him what it meant to really look after the blind man or the sick woman or the shamed leper. Then when Joseph was nearing death, what instructions and last words might he have whisphered to Jesus to further embed in him his love for his mission. No doubt, Jesus must have treasured all that Joseph was to him and all that Joseph taught him, and carried these in his heart throughout his whole life and all the way until his own death on the cross.

PRAYER TO ST. JOSEPH

Blessed Joseph, husband of Mary,
be with us this day.
You protected and cherished the Virgin;
loving the child Jesus as your son,
you rescued him from the danger of death.
Defend the Church, the household of God,
purchased by the blood of Christ.

Guardian of the Holy Family,
be with us in our trials.
May your prayers obtain for us
the strength to flee from error
and wrestle with the powers of corruption
so that in life we may grow in holiness
and in death rejoice in the crown of victory.
Amen.

(author unknown)

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Quiet Space

2011-03-10T03:11:00.001+08:00

There is a garden in my heart

Where words stay silent

While colors speak

Where flowers bask in light

While gentle winds blow

Where God tenderly gazes

Then prayer flows

Two in One, on the Cross

2011-01-23T18:12:00.003+08:00

Lord,

Your Father said, "This is my Beloved Son, on whom my favor rests."
And yet on the cross, your body was broken.
You were Beloved, yet broken.

You were so broken but you did not give us up.
You loved us until your death on the cross.
You were broken, yet you proved we were your Beloved.

And now, on the cross
We know that brokenness and belovedness can co-exist.
The two together embodied in one cross.

Like you, we are all broken yet Beloved
In our brokenness, we can believe in your love for us
In your love, our brokenness can find a home.

Two in one, on the cross +

Prayer of Letting Go

2011-01-12T13:46:00.009+08:00

Our good Lord gifted me with 25 years of being in exactly the organization I had always wanted to be in, doing the nature of work I have been very happy with, in the company of many good supervisors and colleagues, and amidst friendships that will endure for a lifetime. One couldn't ask for a better comfort zone! Gratitude for the all these blessings overwhelm.

But "all things indeed have their season and all things have their time." So after the numerous warm goodbyes, now comes the task of letting go, self-emptying, and movement into solitude and inner stillness. Into more attentive listening and responding to the gentle promptings of His Spirit.

"Unless the grain of wheat falls deep into the earth;

Unless it dies, it remains alone.

But if it dies, the harvest indeed is great.

From this one seed comes a hundredfold."

My dearest Lord, I now offer up to You the next 25 years, or whatever remaining life you give me. Please lead me into whatever and wherever You desire. To a life of love and unity with You.

With all my heart, I beg, that like the grain of wheat, I may learn "to die, so that I may truly live in You."

Immanuel!

2010-12-27T02:40:00.003+08:00

Immanuel!
"God is with us."

I kneel before you with head bowed
In gratitude, love and awe
Over your gift of self so generously
Shared on that Christmas night long ago.

You chose to become one with us
In all our human frailty
Feeling the full range of our human emotions
Through childhood and into adulthood.

You showed us the many ways we can
Offer up ourselves to the Father
In a surrender of love and faith
That enables us to touch your divinity.

"Be not afraid, I go before you always.."
"Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me.."
"Love one another as I have loved you.."
"Go instead after the lost sheep.."

"That where I am, you may also be.."
"I am in my Father, and you in me and I in you.."
"He will give you another paraclete to be with you always.."
"I am with you always, until the end of the world.."

Immanuel!
Oh God, You are truly with, for and in us.
Thank you for your birth!

.

Advent Prayer

2010-11-29T15:29:00.001+08:00

You sent your beloved son to be born among us

Even if You knew that He would one day

Suffer and die a harsh death on the cross

You chose that He be born in a poor stable

Even if His mission was to establish

A heavenly Kingdom here on earth

You gave Him a mind that could be tempted
A heart that could feel anguish and frustration
A body that was not immune to pain

Even dear Mama Mary was not spared
Her heart most pure and immaculate
Pierced with sorrow at the foot of the cross

Why, Lord God, did you choose to love us this much?
Why gift us more than we could ever deserve?
Why this Christmas mystery?

Guiding Star, Shining Light of our hope
This Advent season I pray, lend me Your eyes that I may see
Through the heart of your Christmas mystery

Amen

.

Christmas Giving

2010-11-12T13:18:00.020+08:00

If Jesus were to physically appear on the scene today, I suspect He would be quite uncomfortable with the way the malls or some businesses position themselves at Christmas and make it their main objective to let people open their wallets and purchase more items than they can afford at the moment, all under the name of Christmas giving. Perhaps Jesus might avoid the cities and decide to hie away instead to the farthest, poorest provinces

and opt instead to bring simple offerings of food or clothing if at all, or more importantly just His very presence, knocking on people's doors, asking to go into their homes to find out how their families are doing with regards to their growth as persons within their family, work and community.

Then He would probably come back to the city, refreshed in the conviction that the Christmas spirit is still alive and well, and then decide to also visit people here - only to find out that here in the city we are just too busy - multi-tasking left and right, wading through crowded calendars with all sorts of high tech gadgets.. stressed out by traffic, tensely running after the year-end business targets, last minute shopping or party arrangements.

He would probably knock at the gates of our homes, wait patiently, then leave a note for us to just call Him when we have time so He can chat with us about how we are growing as persons in our family, work and community. He would probably also invite us to join Him in His other visits, but telling us to bring only ourselves - our listening ear, our open mind and caring heart - so that the same light of Christmas that shone brightly during His Nativity long ago may also shine through us and on to those whom we visit together with Him.

Then, like the vibrant colors of the poinsettias now abloom, our gifts of presence and time may bring to others the sense of love, peace, hope and joy which He longs to gift all of us at Christmas.

Legacy

2010-10-16T04:00:00.008+08:00

Yesterday was the Feast Day of St. Teresa of Avila, as well as the golden jubilee of entrance to Carmel of our Lady, Mary Mediatrix of All Grace in Lipa of one of the nuns there. There was a simple but solemn and beautiful thanksgiving mass, held at the famous apparition site. Imagine sitting there inside their cloistered area, contemplating the site, as well as the lives of both this nun (still so bubbly after 50 years of a life centered on Jesus), and St. Teresa of Avila whose own life and writings was nothing less than precious legacy to so many.

In addition, the day was also special for my good friend who shared that exactly 16 years ago, she too had said goodbye to the rest of the world in pursuit of the call to join this same convent in Lipa. Like her fellow nun, she too now lives a life centered on Jesus, and yet she too is as bubbly and full of life as one can imagine.

I was so grateful to witness such beautiful legacy, and together with the others present, felt my heart stir with emotion listening to the soloist's voice fill the air with the song of St. Teresa below:

AWIT NI STA. TERESA

Huwag bayaang ligaligin ng anuman

At bayaang takutin ng alinman

Lumilipas ang lahat ng mga bagay

Tanging Diyos ang walang hangganan.

Ang lahat ng bagay ay naaangkin ng katatagan.

Ang nasa Diyos ay walang pagkukulang.

Sapagkat ang Diyos lamang lahat ang kasiyahan.

Huwag bayaang ligalin ng anuman

At bayaang takutin ng alinman

Lumilipas ang lahat ng mga bagay

Tanging Diyos ang walang hangganan.

Lumilipas ang lahat ng mga bagay

Tanging Diyos ang walang hangganan.

It was indeed a special day of grace. The Saint. The apparition site. The vocation and witnessing of the two cloistered nuns. The quiet comfort of Our Lady, Mary Mediatrix of All Grace. Their legacy:

Lumilipas ang lahat ng mga bagay

Tanging Diyos ang walang hangganan.

Photo Speak

2010-10-01T02:19:00.006+08:00

Every October 1, aside from it being the Feast of St. Therese, is also for me a special day

for remembering and celebrating another spiritual year.

Sometimes photos, more than words, can better capture our gratitude and love for all that has been, is, and will be, in Him, our Good Shepherd :=)

Motherhood Blessings

2010-07-23T01:51:00.002+08:00

Traveling Light

2010-07-22T18:34:00.007+08:00

"Travel light.. and go where the wind blows you..."

I first heard the line above in a mass homily, and it has stayed with me since. I am drawn to the feeling of freedom it alludes to.

Traveling light, without the usual years-worn baggages, with mind and heart fully focused on the road ahead... and with the gentle wind of His Spirit blowing behind my back and moving me forward towards new territories yet unexplored... towards new ways of living more free and easy and light.

Midlifing? :=)

.

Solitude

2010-06-25T16:58:00.093+08:00

It's hard to capture in words the beauty of silence and solitude, as this is something best experienced than talked about.

A walk along narrow pathways surrounded by greens,

sounds of crickets and birds as if singing in unison,

alternating light and shadows playing on the ground,

the smell of burning leaves intermingled with scented bushes, while wind whispers through the trees and blows on one's cheeks and arms..

Sitting still, with mind empty

but heart open..

as silence becomes prayer,

and prayer becomes rest

in His cradle of unhurried time and quiet space.

The HR Vocation

2010-03-26T23:08:00.028+08:00

Within HR, there is a lot of opportunity to contribute to the growth and development of the human person. We guide the line managers in deciding what profiles they need and whom to bring into the organization. We orient new hires and guide their adjustment to a new culture and environment. We equip supervisors with tools and skills needed to shape behavior and provide useful performance feedback. We remind supervisors to listen to their staff's career aspirations, and teach them how to identify and address their development needs. We help ensure that a healthy leadership succession pipeline is in place, and that the leaders learn how to lead with a balanced combination of IQ & EQ. Aside from focusing on high potential talents, we also assist supervisors in turning around the behavior of staff who need more support for their lagging performance or lapses in character or work ethic.

When employees have personal problems that affect their ability to work effectively, many come to HR to seek help. Numerous trust relationships are built, and many a confidential word are brought out and shared within the privacy of the consultation rooms. Staff know that a good HR professional will be able to sensitively balance the actions needed to address their needs with the needs of the business.

Looking back on many years of being with HR colleagues, I have witnessed a lot of the group's genuine generosity in offering so much time, attention and focus in the service of others. Practically 90% of what is done is about serving others. In fact, oftentimes, HR folks end up putting everyone else's needs before their own. Now this may not really be the best thing to do, because one also has to be filled herself or himself, to be able to sustain work which is very others-centered.

If there are unsung heroes within the org, I think our HR colleagues can qualify to be called such - heroes and true carers for people, and for the organization.

If the CCO/CEO is like the father and head of the family, then HR is like the mother, the heart, looking after her children, our employees, making sure that their stay in the company is not just about going after profit goals, but is also very much about growing up and maturing into the persons they were all meant to be.

Yes, being in HR can be a genuine and meaningful way to live out a vocation of service to others. This is "the pearl of great price" that people in HR have discovered :=)

.

Wise Nature's Way

2010-03-14T20:45:00.010+08:00

Everyday several of us at home eagerly check the state of the plants and flowers around our simple garden. Each and every plant is lovingly inspected. And each and every flower bud that starts to bloom is looked at with high anticipation and excitement. I make it a point to take their "ID picture". Macro lens and ISO setting so that even the fine, little lines of their petals, and the shifts and variations in color, shade and lighting are captured. There is only a short window of time to take the photos while the bud flowers into its fullness, before it reverses and starts to dry up and shrivel, eventually making way for the next bud to appear.

Nature is very wise. It shows us something for our own life. When checking out the garden each day, I often get reminded about how each person possesses a beauty of his or her own, which when given the right care, can flower into fullness. When we pause to capture the essence of another's life and soul, the fine lines and colors in their life that can be captured like an "ID picture" make themselves known to us. Some whom we come to know stay with us for quite a time, while others are with us only briefly, before moving on in separate ways, making room for others to come in and out of our life.

When I take a photo of the flower, its beauty is captured and is here for me to keep. Just like with people in our life, once we have come to experience who they really are, they continue to remain a part of us even as we move along on separate journeys.

Wise nature's way.

.

Lenten Love

2010-02-18T01:00:00.017+08:00

Last Saturday at mass, it dawned on me how apt it was for Valentines Day and Ash Wednesday to fall on the same week this year. And that what both occassions have in common is LOVE. Valentines is a day of remembering people we love, and Ash Wednesday is the start of the church season where we commemorate the most beautiful act of love that has ever been done for us by God: His act of allowing His Beloved Son to suffer and die on the cross for our sake.

It seems odd - love? Lent? And yet it seems so right. Yes, how He loved us! Just like the song goes: "We remember how You loved us to your death, and still we celebrate, for You are with us here..." And, "What greater love is there than for a man to lay down his life for another..."

Next year, Valentines and Ash Wednesday will most likely fall on different weeks. So this year, I choose to consider the closeness of these two dates as special. I will think of it as a special signal for us to keep in mind the wonderful-ness of His great love, even as we reflect on the weight of His cross during the coming forty days.

Dakilang pag-ibig!

Soul within Soul

2009-12-14T12:39:00.037+08:00

.

The colors of the Advent candles
remind me of what I pray
we will truly come
to believe and experience
about
our soul within His,
each and every moment of our existence...

sculpture: "Grip of Grace" by Alex Tee

pink = our soul
purple = God's

Faith Like His Love

2009-10-28T20:05:00.019+08:00

"My love for you is taller than the tallest mountain

deeper than the deepest ocean

wider than the widest horizon.

May your faith in me
be as tall
and as deep
and as wide
as my love for you..."

- Jesus

Therese and the Garden

2009-10-01T01:34:00.013+08:00

.....In honor of St. Therese of Lisieux (1873-1897)

“...I understand how all the flowers God has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not take away the perfume of the violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understand that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers. So it is in the world of souls, Jesus' garden. He has created smaller ones and those must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God's glances when He looks down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be.” - St. Therese

"Yes, my Beloved, it is thus that my life's brief day shall be spent before Thee. No other means have I of proving my love than to strew flowers; that is, to let no little sacrifice escape me, not a look, not a word, to avail of the very least actions and do them for Love. I wish to suffer for Love's sake and for Love's sake even to rejoice; thus shall I strew flowers. Not one shall I find without shedding its petals for Thee...and then I will sing, I will always sing, even if I must gather my roses in the very midst of thorns - and the longer and sharper the thorns the sweeter shall be my song." - Story of a Soul, Chapter XI

"In times of aridity when I am incapable of praying, of practicing virtue, I seek little opportunities, mere trifles, to give pleasure to Jesus; for instance a smile, a pleasant word when inclined to be silent and to show weariness. If I find no opportunities, I at least tell Him again and again that I love Him; that is not difficult and it keeps alive the fire in my heart. Even though this fire of love might seem extinct I would still throw little straws upon the embers and I am certain it would rekindle." - XVI letter to her sister Celine

"Without love, deeds even the most briliant, count as nothings." - Story of a Soul, Chapter VIII.

"I have not the courage to force myself to seek beautiful prayers in books; not knowing which to choose I act as children do who cannot read; I say quite simply to the good God what I want to tell Him, and He always understands me." - Story of A Soul, Chapter X

"But on whom shall our poor heart lavish its love? Who shall be found that is great enough to be the recipient of its treasures? Will a human being know how to comprehend them, and above all will he be able to repay? There exists but one Being capable of comprehending love; it is Jesus; He alone can give us back infinitely more than we shall ever give to him." - Letter to her cousin, Marie Guerin

"There is no artist who does not like his work praised, and the Divine Artist of souls is pleased when we do not stop at the exterior, but penetrating even to the inmost sanctuary which He has chosen for His dwelling, we admire its beauty." - Story of A Soul, Chapter IX (photo by H. Sy)

"The good God does not need years to accomplish His work of love in a soul; one ray from His Heart can, in an instant, make His flower bloom for eternity..." - VI letter to her sister Celine

"Love attracts love, mine rushes forth unto Thee, it would fain fill up the abyss which attracts it; but alas! it is not even as one drop of dew lost in the Ocean. To love Thee as Thou lovest me I must borrow Thy very Love - then only, can I find rest." - Story of A Soul, Chapter XI

Thank you God, for the beauty of her soul!

Relic of St. Therese

Song for the Journey

2009-08-28T22:48:00.166+08:00

...a beautiful song for the journey...

I WALK THE KING'S HIGHWAY

I know not where the road will lead

I follow day by day

Or where it ends, I only know

I walk the King's highway.

I know not if the way is long

And no one else can say

But rough or smooth, up hill or down

I walk the King’s highway.

And some I love have reached the end

But some with me may stay

Their faith and hope still guiding me

I walk the King’s highway.

The way is truth, the way is love,

For light and strength I pray,

And through the years of life, to God,

I walk the King’s highway.

The countless hosts lead on before

I must not fear nor stray

With them, the pilgrims of the faith

I walk the King’s highway.

Through light and dark the road leads on

Till dawns the endless day

When I shall know why in this life

I walk the King’s highway.

- E.A. Cummins, 1922

Honoring in the Present

2009-07-09T19:49:00.004+08:00

It was interesting to listen to the praises being now being heaped on Michael Jackson for his contributions to music and to the world. There was an outpouring of sincere gratitude for the many ways his music and even some of his personal qualities have made a difference in people's lives. My one big takeaway while watching the memorial service last night was that how much more wonderful it is if we are able to honor persons who make a difference in our life, while they are still around and are able to receive our expressions of gratitude and love.

"One of the saddest things in life is a kind word left unsaid," is a saying from a childhood book marker that has stuck in my mind all these years. I use these words to prod me on whenever I hesitate to compliment someone who has influenced my life in a positive way but whom I am quite timid to express my thoughts to. Or, when I am so busy and tempted to put off communicating a praise or a kind word for another day.

Oftentimes, the extra effort to reach out and honor someone actually turns out to be just what the other person needed badly at that moment. Unknown to us, they could be undergoing a low period in their life and our casual affirmations of their good qualities goes a long way in lifting them up. That last kind phrase that we honor them with may make all the difference in their sense of well-being, without our even being aware that that is what would happen.

If only Michael Jackson, who felt ridiculed and judged harshly by the world, was able to hear the volumes of praises and kind words about him that are coming out now. It may have made him less defensive, less wary of everything around him.

This makes me once again resolve to be more generous and spontaneous in honoring and saying kind words to people who have made a difference. Yes, a kind word given to a living person is worth much more than a million praises expressed to one who has already left this world...

Happy honoring!

In Our Small Way

2009-06-26T21:02:00.010+08:00

There's an old song sung by a then very young Michael Jackson that I love listening to because of its simple but rich lyrics. The world and all it's problems are too big for even great leaders of nations to overcome. But love (for our Lord) starts with small steps.. and "we still can change some things today, in our small way".

IN OUR SMALL WAY

Empty words are not enough
Where there's hurt, we'll be a crutch
When there's thirst, we'll fill each other's cup
Because we care, we love enough to share

In despair we'll be the hope
And the prayer that frees the soul
We'll be there to share each lonely road
Because we love, I know we care enough

Just a little time is all it takes
What a difference just a smile can make you'll see
Love is all we need

Maybe you and I can't do great things
We may not change the world in one day
But we still can change some things today
In our small way

(by Beatrice Verdi and Christine Yarian)

Walking on Water

2009-06-10T01:33:00.010+08:00

There are days when worry creeps into me, especially when I feel that I am not able to be as productive and effective as I would like to be at work. The feeling is there not because of lack of effort in trying, but more because of my age-old, hard to get rid of habit of self-doubt!

Today is one such day. So I did what I knew I had to do - visit the Blessed Sacrament and sit in front of our Beloved Lord's True Presence. While with Him, the gospel scene of Peter being called by the Lord to walk on water, gently came to mind. 100% Faith. 100% Trust. Believing that He dwells in the inmost core of our being and is always with us, moving us in the direction He wants, when we allow Him to take over. If doubts creep in, we will get that sinking feeling. But with faith in His deep love and constant presence with us, we can, like Peter, actually walk on water!

"Dearest Lord, please do the work like You have so often assured me You desire to do. Help me to overcome my all my self-doubts and to develop 100% Faith in You. Unlike Peter, help me to reach the point where I even forget I am walking on water, because I feel secure from the deepest part of me, that You and I always walk together."

The journey of commitment to 100% Faith starts now. At the very least, it's worth taking a first step..

In His Pleasure

2009-05-05T01:55:00.008+08:00

"I believe that God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. When I run it is in His pleasure." - Eric Liddell

The movie "Chariots of Fire" is my all-time favorite, and the quote from Eric Liddell about feeling God's pleasure when he would run is really one of the best lines ever! If only each and every one of us could be fully aware of what exactly is the unique and special talent that God has specifically given us, and make developing it and living it out our life's focus. If only like Eric Liddell, we could really feel God's pleasure as we do that which we are really good at.

Inside and outside of my workplace, I love observing and discovering what strengths and gifts people have within them, witnessing how these unfold - get nurtured, stretched, the good effects creatively spread to a wide base of others, and become concrete examples of God's enlivening spirit flowing through people. It is easy to imagine God smiling at what goes on and feeling great pleasure over His gifts planted in the person when its wings spread and take flight.

It's also like the petals of a beautiful flower opening up to our Creator God and basking in His pleasure.

Into Your Hands

2009-04-10T19:53:00.009+08:00

Sometimes one can be so sure about one's desire to live a life fully for God, but quite unsure about what would be the best way for this to happen. Unsure and at times impatient, wanting things to be clear right away, wanting to jump right into action so that one can feel that at least one is DOING something.

When to take action and when to stay still? When to reach out in service to others and when to reach out through quiet but active prayer? When to take courageous moves in new directions outside of the comfort zone, and when to just wait with full trust that He will cue when the timing is right? When to DO... and when to just BE...

It is harder to keep still, to just BE for the meantime, and to listen. To be mindful that timing is His, that the WHEN and the HOW will come when He decides to let it be known.

The different Holy Week recollection talks as well as homilies the past days centered around the theme of God loving us first and how loving Him back calls us to love others, especially those who are in great need of help, more concretely. To love in the way He loves. Or at least, to keep trying to do so. It is easy to desire to live this truth, but much more difficult to live this out concretely, consistently, creatively and true to what He intends for us.

With all of these in mind, I find some consolation from the verses of a simple song we learned in grade school, and which also contain the final of the Seven Last Words of Jesus on the cross:

"Into Your Hands, I commend my spirit Oh Lord
Into Your Hands, I commend my life"

I surrender my life to Him, trusting that He will help me properly discern His will.

For now, I will just BE... in His Hands.

Looking Forward

2009-04-05T23:19:00.014+08:00

Lent began with an effort on Ash Wednesday to fast from any intake of food or liquid for 12 hours. It was easier said than done especially since the office environment is one where food is the favorite pastime of everyone. Come the 12th hour, I was already dizzy from the hunger but was able to draw strength from within to overcome it. The experience made me realize that strength of will is something that we can cultivate with conscious effort and with prayer.

The past few weeks I've felt my heart stirred many times and in many ways both during and outside of prayer. It's been such a graced season. "Dear Lord, how truly present you are!" I've found myself saying to Him. "How true it is that You love us first." I long to curl up like a little child and rest "in the palm of his Hand" like the prayer goes. And this while remembering His great sacrifice of love as concretized by His suffering and death on the cross.

My resolve to lay my whole being at His feet and offer the rest of my life for Him to use as He pleases is as strong as ever. And like the fasting experience, the strength to make good this offering will have to come from conscious effort, much prayer and a continued going back to the experience of being loved by Him first.

"Oh dearest, dearest Lord, make me worthy of your Love. Teach me to want only what You want, to live and work only in the way You want me to do so, to be open to everything from and for You..."

A "SAMPLE" way of living for Him, until it becomes clearer how else to love Him better:

S - implicity of lifestyle
A - cceptance of self and others
M -ission
P - resence
L - istening with love
E - mbracing His cross

The graces of Lent!

Please Do the Work

2009-03-14T17:45:00.006+08:00

How truly wonderful it is that at the start of each day we can freely offer up our work life to Him!

"My dearest Lord,
Please do the work
While I simply be your instrument
Lead, and let me follow You."

I find that praying the above makes me excited over the outcome of my work. While in the process of working, I know I am not alone, but that there are two of us caring for what happens, and working hard for the best outcome. When there are difficulties, I can more calmly figure out how best to go about things, knowing that my partner is all-knowing and all-wise. This realization gives me confidence. When things turn out well, I feel a sense joy in recognizing that it is He who did the actual work.

Throughout the preparations for our annual people planning in the office, I would pray the above each morning. Now that the main planning day is over, I look back on the richness of insights and other fruits of the month-long discussion meetings, and just know from the core of my soul that He WAS present and was actively working with us all through out.

"Lord, please do the work."

This is not about laziness to do work by oneself. Rather, it is about asking for the gift of partnership with Him in all things.

Advent Gaze

2008-12-11T12:08:00.032+08:00

ADVENT

A time for gazing upon Him

With a heart slowly and quietly

Pondering over the meaning of His gifts

Dearest gentle Mama,

May we stay beside you throughout this Advent season

And with you, allow only His Word to fill our soul

Till it radiates nothing less than the love and the joy

That He wants us to bring to others

You are our precious model

Of a most quiet gaze

And a peaceful pondering heart

God Within

2008-10-26T17:27:00.004+08:00

God's creativity is so amazing. He designed things in such a way that we can experience His presence "in all things", but as if that was not enough and He wanted to lodge Himself so fully within us, He also reserved the deepest part of our very being as the place where He makes His home and where He constantly breathes His life and love.

I feel so blessed to have stumbled upon this article by George Aschenbrenner S.J. entitled, "A Hidden Self Grown Strong", located in the book "Handbook of Spirituality for Ministers" edited by Robert Wicks. It describes our God within us:

"This inner core of a person has a profundity and a simplicity that is literally beyond words. The core of the soul is not a place upon which to take a stand; nor is it a thing to be grasped. To speak of the core of a person in such terms is very misleading. Our deepest center stretches far beyond what can be conceived in clear and distinct ideas and what can be fully expressed in words. As we grow in our appreciation of this personal center, its presence dawns, alluringly shrouded in mist and mystery. Such mysteriousness does not imply cloudy ambiguity. Rather, within the shifting mists of this inner mysterious realm there can dawn a great quiet and clarity of vision. Allowing ourselves to be led further into this core of self facilitates a wonderful process of simplification. Life's complexities fuse into an undaunted simplicity. A noisy world hushes into a resounding quiet. And a polluted heart is stripped clear and clean. This core of the soul is marked by a simple calm and quiet beyond any cataclysmic storms and brutalizing temper tantrums. This deepest core of soul speaks of the infinite simplicity of God and of love beyond words that, even as you now read, is breathing life within you."

Further on in his article, Fr. Aschenbrenner S.J. continues to describe the core of our soul:

"Our most profound and personal experience of God, as mentioned earlier, is in the core of our soul. The core's profundity is not given to intensely exhilarating experiences. Because the waters of our core identity run deep beyond words, God's love is not experienced there like the excitement of cresting and breaking waves of emotion. Rather God's love resounds as a presence perduring and endearing. This profundity of God's perduring presence can produce an inner quiet - like the catching of one's breath - behind and beyond all exciting spontaneity and breathless activity.

At our deepest center we are not actually doing or feeling anything. This is the point where we are - where we are in God, and are continually coming to be in the breath of God's loving Spirit. This center of being, this presence does not completely elude conscious grasp. Moments of prayerful reflection, sometimes carefully attuned to our breathing, can reveal a deep inner calm and quiet, that does not have a deadening effect but rather renews and enlivens. This is holy ground. In the holiness of this quiet sanctuary, with an attractiveness beyond imagining, God's love is grasping, laying claim to and identifying each of us in Christ. It is the still point in the ever turning world of our own person and of the whole cosmos."

May each of us be given the grace to enter the inner core of our soul and discover that holy ground of calm and quiet, the seed bed of God's creative and enlivening Spirit.

Prayer for Oneness

2008-10-01T14:18:00.006+08:00

My dearest Lord,

Make my heart wed Thine

May the hole in my heart be one with the cross in Thine

Be the source of all that is

And the source of all that I am

In Thy most gracious love

Amen.

- at the start of a new spiritual year
& the Feast of St. Therese

A Bruised Reed

2008-09-19T16:49:00.006+08:00

An open wound on the leg of a child can remind us of the raw wounds that may still lie buried within us. Even if we may have undergone healing through time, there are still unexpected incidents that can trigger a sudden emergence of these very raw and painful wounds.

A crucifix around a child's neck can remind us that in times of such darkness, we still have Him to just hold on to with trust.

A bruised reed He will not break... a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.

As we experience the rawness of the wounds that we now dare to face, as we seek to uncover the truths that lie within them, we are somehow led much closer to the depth of His compassionate and very tender love for the bruised reed.

Being Still

2008-06-29T20:25:00.007+08:00

Sitting still
Relishing the quiet
Desiring to draw near
To the Source of all that is

"My whole being, I lay open before You
I have no big gift to give
No extraordinary talent, no great accomplishment
No brilliant insight, no strength of personality
All I lay before You
Is this growing desire to be truly with and for You

To see people as they really are, with Your eyes
To listen to their life within, with Your ears
To understand their unspoken needs, with Your heart
To let Your love touch them in simple, little ways
To help them in the little steps they decide to take
In coming home to You

Lord may I ask,
Why does this desire continue to grow and not fade?
Why do the many roads always seem to lead to one road?
This is from You, right?"

Sitting very still
Relishing the quiet
Wanting to stay this way for now
Or for as long He thinks it should take

Like in a cocoon
Wrapped by inner silence
Listening
Waiting
Being still

Devotion

2008-06-24T20:10:00.008+08:00

When I heard this song (popularized by the Everly Brothers way back in the 1960's) play this morning, the first thing that came to mind was that the lyrics are also fitting for someone kneeling before Him in adoration. Who said prayer had to be solemn all the time? This cheery old song could equally be a genuine prayer. However, better to insert the word "try", as in "I'll TRY never to hurt you.. TRY never to lie... TRY never to be untrue... TRY never to give you reason to cry... TRY to always be devoted to you..." - to maintain our credibility before Him!

DEVOTED TO YOU

Darling you can count on me
Till the sun dries up the sea
Until then I'll always be
Devoted to you

I'll be yours till endless time
I'll adore your charms sublime
Guess by now you know that I'm
Devoted to you

I'll never hurt you
I'll never lie
I'll never be untrue
I'll never give you reason to cry
I'd be unhappy if you were blue

Through the years our love will grow
Like a river it will flow
It can't die because I'm so
Devoted to you

- Felice & Boudleaux Bryant

Now try shifting perspective, and imagine that it is He who is singing this song to you...

I'll never hurt you
I'll never lie
I'll never be untrue
I'll never give you reason to cry
I'd be unhappy if you were blue

Through the years our love will grow
Like a river it will flow
It can't die because I'm so
Devoted to you

Wow!

Inner Freedom

2008-06-12T19:37:00.051+08:00

INNER FREEDOM

To allow all energy from within
to flow freely and naturally

To express what is in my heart
and mind and body and soul
Free from fear of others' opinions

To let love unfold in its own time and way
Free from unhealthy attachments

To follow comfortable timing
Immersed in the joy of the given moment

To be in God 's loving presence
Trusting that He leads the way

.

Thank You for Your Heart

2008-05-30T17:33:00.011+08:00

A heart that provides strength even when it is itself vulnerable
A heart that extends healing even when it is itself hurting
A heart that burns with love even when its very love is unrequited
A heart that gives peace to our ever-restless heart

Thank you dearest Lord, for the gift of your Sacred Heart!

"Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." - St. Agustine

Splendour in the Grass

2008-05-28T19:22:00.010+08:00

Every year around this time, when the dry season ends and the rains begin, one beautiful site to behold in several places around the city are the blooming fire trees. Their orangeness provides a very colorful and artistic contrast to the green grass and leaves that also spring alive. It is as if the the dry ground and trees parched with thirst all summer suddenly drink their fill of refreshing water.

The orange shower on the green grass here reminds me of the title of an old movie, "Splendour in the Grass". However, unlike the sense of loss that is captured in W. Wordsworth's poem where the title of the movie came from, I only experience a cheerful, enlivening feeling when my eyes feast on the colors!

For the curious, here are some lines from the poem:

.......
Ye that pipe and ye that play,
Ye that through your hearts today
Feel the gladness of the May!
What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
........
Thanks to the human heart by which we live,
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.

- Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood (1807)
William Wordsworth

In Prayer

2008-05-25T22:41:00.006+08:00

Dearest Lord,

School me in my ability to listen

To even the slightest of your sighs

Fortify my will to obey You

When in difficult hesitation

May I settle for nothing less

Than to be one with You!

Notes
May 2008

My Forever Friend

2008-05-15T18:24:00.020+08:00

Everybody needs a little help sometime

No one stands alone
Makes no difference if you're just a child like me
Or a king upon a throne
For there are no exceptions
We all stand in the line
Everybody needs a friend
Let me tell you of mine

He's my forever friend
My leave-me-never friend
From darkest night to rainbow's end
He's my forever friend

Even when I turn away He cares for me
His love no one can shake
Even as I walk away He's by my side
With every breath I take
And sometimes I forget Him
My halo fails to shine
Sometimes I'm not His friend
But He is always mine

If you still don't know the one I'm talking of
I think it's time you knew
Long ago and far away upon a cross
My friend died for you
So if you'd like to meet Him
And don't know what to do
Ask my friend into you heart
And He'll be your friend too

- Charlie Landsborough

Shelter Me

2008-05-12T17:08:00.006+08:00

When I cannot close my eyes
And the night goes on
Troubles taunt on every side
And my doubt is strong
Shelter me, shelter me
Let the thought of your compassion
Be my strength
Prince of Peace, shelter me
From the tempest of my unbelief
Mighty God who calmed the sea
Come and shelter me
Do your promises still stand?
Does your mercy cease?
By the power of your hand
Grant me my release

- Joe Beck/Billy Sprague/Bruce Carroll,
sung so beautifully by John McDermott

Bringing Him to the Workplace

2008-05-01T18:35:00.004+08:00

"Sometimes it may seem to us that there is no purpose in our lives, that going day after day for years to this office or that school or factory is nothing else but waste and weariness. But it may be that God has sent us there because but for us Christ would not be there. If our being there means that Christ is there, that alone makes it worth while." - C. Houselander

Although work has been a source of fulfillment and meaning, for each of us, there are also those times when weariness from work sets in and we begin to question how much have we really done to bring others closer to Him. The words above offer some consolation.

Even as we pray quietly in our seat at the start of the day or at the start of an important meeting, or when we patiently listen to a co-worker or give our full attention to an issue needing resolution, it is not just us but also Christ in us who is doing these. When we carefully plan a next course of action, or when we spend time perfecting execution of a task, He is quietly active within us and working through us. We carry Him around wherever we go.

If we can truly believe this, then we can smile in the happy thought that we have indeed brought Him in the midst of the people around us. How wonderful it is to know that the going day after day for years to our workplace means that we have actually carried His Presence there too day after day!

"If our being there means that Christ is there, that alone makes it worth while."

A Place for You

2008-04-23T01:01:00.009+08:00

In the gospel last Friday (and then again on Sunday) our Lord said: "Do not let your hearts be troubled; trust in God and trust in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms. Otherwise I would not have told you that I go to prepare a place for you. After I have gone and prepared a place for you, I will come back again and take you to me, so that where I am, you also may be..." (John 14:1-3)

"Trust in me... I go to prepare a place for you... I will come back again and take you to me... where I am, you may also be..."

How could the creator of everything in this whole wide universe also be so personal in the way He communicates to us? Here is the Lord of all, giving the "speck of dust" in His hand so much importance and reassurance. Only Infinite Love can be that way!

Dear Lord, the fullness of your words still escapes my comprehension.

Fresh Like Spring

2008-04-14T19:33:00.005+08:00

Pass It On
by Kurt Kaiser

It only takes a spark to get a fire going,
And soon all those around can warm up in its glowing;
That's how it is with God's Love,
Once you've experienced it,
You spread the love to everyone
You want to pass it on.

What a wondrous time is spring,
When all the tress are budding
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming;
That's how it is with God's love,
Once you've experienced it.
You want to sing, it's fresh like spring,
You want to pass it on.

I wish for you my friend
This happiness that I've found;
You can depend on God
It matters not where you're bound,
I'll shout it from the mountain top
I want the world to know
The Lord of love has come to me
I want to pass it on.

Someone once shared, "Your love for the Lord will last, but the beautiful feeling might not. So enjoy and relish it while you can. It's grace God gives so we will know Him more intimately and serve Him more generously."

From the freshness of God's love springs forth our own love for Him! And as this happens, He gives us the grace to relish it and the desire to pass it on.

Mhay-Mhay

2008-04-11T03:08:00.007+08:00

Mhay-Mhay is the youngest girl in her family of six. Two years ago, when she was ten years old, her father abandoned the family, and Mhay-Mhay was forced to stop her schooling. She began to sell sampaguita in the streets to help the family have food to eat. Soon after, she practically lived in the streets and began actively engaging in smoking and rugby sniffing, just like so many other street children. In a matter of time, her mother fell ill and died of tuberculosis. Mhay-Mhay was then brought to a temporary shelter. Last month, she visited her home, but only to find out the sad news that her two older sisters whom she used to turn to for emotional support, were now nowhere to be found. She misses her mother and her sisters very much.

In a recent role play session in therapy, Mhay-Mhay chose the role of the "bunso" in the family. While the other kids gathered around an ailing mother, she kept to a corner and pretended to play a piano. She did this all throughout the role play, never uttering a word but just quietly playing the imaginary piano. Later on, she explained that she purposely chose this action because when her mother was alive, she had wanted so badly to give joy to her mother through music, hoping to ease her mother's pain and take her mind away from her illness. "Para po malibang yung Nanay ko, tumutugtog po ako." As she said this, tears streamed down her cheeks.

Oh Mhay-Mhay, what a genuinely caring heart you have within you! Despite all the bleakness and roughness you were exposed to in your young life, you wanted so badly to make your mother happy. You knew how to give her love,and you tried to give it to her in a special way when she was very sick.

Imagine what this girl could potentially be in the future, if the goodness in this heart of hers is nourished within a caring environment. If only all the children in the streets could be given a chance to live within an environment that respects their right and need to be loved and looked after. How much good can surely spring forth from within them!

Blessings

2008-04-02T00:52:00.005+08:00

The start of summer always feels like the turning of the pages of a book into a new chapter, especially as another school year ends. The words of the song "Sunrise, Sunset" in the movie "Fiddler on the Roof" remind us to treasure the special blessings of the children's growing years. These are years more precious than gold.

"Dearest Lord, we thank you no end, for the gift of their lives unfolding. Please continue to bless them always!"

SUNRISE, SUNSET

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he get to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday
When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

Easter Joy

2008-03-23T23:13:00.003+08:00

Holy Week each year is such a special time of being with the Lord. It's like staying beside your best friend as he or she goes through the greatest trial of his or her life. Letting him or her know that although we can not fully enter into his or her pain that is beyond human comprehension, we still hope that somehow our full presence beside Him can provide even a second of comfort and even a tiny relief in the weight of the cross He carries.

Amazing though how the Lord is never outdone in generosity. Whenever we try to give of ourselves to Him, He gives us more graces than we can hold and leaves us with a tender feeling of being loved so specially.

Interesting how in the past few days, the talks given by different priests from different places all seemed to revolve around the same theme. Either that was true or I may have been selectively listening.

A few days before the week began, we received from Fr. M. an excerpt from the book "The Reed of God". What beautiful insights on faith! It said that, "With faith we are like blind people learning, through the touch of caressing fingers, the features of the face that we cannot see... We discover the Face that we seek in every human face... we must seek with a more sensitive medium than sight.. we discern the invisible beauty of the Man abiding in mankind..."

Then during Holy Thursday, the talk in the morning revolved around the many faces of "the greatest love of all" and the truth that "nothing can separate us from the love of God." I thought to myself, we have heard this many times before and it makes everything seem so simple, and yet, how to really believe it with every fiber of my being and allow this love of His to really flow through to whoever He wishes it to reach... I couldn't help thinking that the talk was all about love, and yet unlike Valentines, here it was love within the embrace of the our cross/His cross... Then as if the Lord really wanted to drive home the point about His love and banish all doubts or lukewarm understanding of it, the homilist in the evening mass so eloquently reminded us about Pope Benedict's letter on hope, where he refers to "the INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE of God" as the source of all our strength and hope. Meaningful beyond words!

After the mass, I wanted so much to sit in darkness and silence in front of the tabernacle. But the church was full of sounds and light, and people coming and going. I finally lifted it to Him saying, "Lord, you know how I really wish to be alone with you in the Garden on this night, to keep you company, to be with you in your agony." As I left the chapel and took a walk in the garden, I suddenly noticed a life-sized statue of our Lord on his knees in prayer. It was very dark, but the full moon peeking through the trees gave the sky a certain glow. I sat on the bench beside this statue and closed my eyes... What a pleasant surprise to be able to pray with Him alone, in silence, in the Garden... It was like a gift being received to suddenly be in the very setting I had just a few minutes earlier expressed to Him. The love of God never outdone!

At the start of Lent, I had asked for the grace to know His thoughts and feelings as He carried his cross and that somehow I could be with Him in it. I feel a tender feeling inside when I recall now how on Good Friday, sometime around dusk, while sharing with Him the heaviness I felt from wanting others to also discover the greatness of His love but somehow being met with responses different from what was hoped for, His words came and came in abundance. He reminded me to "Accept and take people where they are..." that love for Him can not be forced but only encouraged... that what I could do is to just continue sharing His love with them, allowing His love to flow to them... that His great love that He wanted to give them but that they were not really ready or open to receive yet... that is what He carries as His cross... and that I also help carry His cross whenever I also feel His hurt and pain, while taking people where they are with understanding and love, and just continue to let His love flow to them. Together we can carry the cross.. believing in that promise of our Father's "indestructible love", drawing strength from there and holding on to the hope that it promises...

Lord, with all these, what more can we say?

Then to top it all, the Easter Vigil was such a beautiful way to close the solemn days and to open up a new year of renewed faith, hope and love. It all came together. A reassurance of moving in the right direction, of our shared mission to bring His love where He wills, to those whom He wants to reach. The homilist flashed on screen photos of the many faces of Christ as hidden within people, especially people within our own country who live in poverty and hunger both materially, psycho-emotionally, spiritually - "...the features of the face that we cannot see... the Face that we seek in every human face... the invisible beauty of the Man abiding in mankind..."

Of all the versions of "Ang Puso Ko'y Nagpupuri", I really like the one sung acapela by the Hangad choir. I would often play it in the car, and it never fails to leave my heart feeling like it would want to burst with love for Him. Last night, it was the Hangad choir who sang at mass. And lo and behold, at the very end of the mass, they burst into song, filling the whole church with "Ang Puso Ko'y Nagpupuri"! A taste of heaven!!!

"Lord, what more can I say? From the very start, with the beautiful excerpts sent to us, to the insightful talks on Holy Thursday, to our being together in the Garden at night, to your revelation on how to really be with you daily in the carrying of your cross, our cross, to the beautiful music played last night, the words of the song which You know very well speaks of overflowing love... You are really such a generous God!"

He is a universal God and yet also so personal.

Happy Easter!

(Photo of Jesus: by F. Chow)

The Seed First

2008-03-15T23:34:00.008+08:00

Recently eight of us high school classmates had a really fun trip together in Davao. 30 years (!?!!) of out high school, it was a special number of days get together - gamely posing for the camera at every opportunity, very hearty appetites inspite of all the talk about diet and aging, screaming our heads off in the wild water rafting whenever huge waves threatened to throw us off board! It was really great that we were all able to take off from our busy schedules to do this trip, hopefully the first of more to come.

Our trip got me thinking about the words of one of our favorite mass songs during high school and what they mean now. (The '70s was the era of guitar and pop music at mass.) I though about how each of us girls have since gone on different roads, how our life journeys have unfolded so far, and continue to unfold. How for us and also for so many others as young (hehe) as us, after three decades, this song takes on so much more meaning now than when we first began to sing it. Yes, we have learned, there's so much, we have learned.

THE SEED FIRST
(from the album of Lorie Lieberman)

The seed first, and then the flower
The chime first, and then the hour
The cloud burst, and then the shower
She must learn, there's so much she must learn

The danger, and then the warning
The loving, and then the scorning
The passing, and then the mourning
She must learn, there's so much she must learn

Long ago, yesterday, the world was an apple in her hand
First you taste enough, to understand
Then the new day came to wake her
And the old clock came to take her from the fair

She thinks first, before she feels now
She asks first, if love is real now
She knows life, and she can deal now
She has learned, there's so much she has learned (2x)

With You in Lent

2008-03-08T14:16:00.005+08:00

Dearest Lord,

I pray that for the remainder of this Lenten Season
You will allow me to know more intimately
What thoughts and feelings you experienced
As You carried Your cross on the road to Calvary

If it means spending more time alone with You
Then may I purposely prioritize more time with You in prayer
If it means being highly attuned to your presence around me
Then my I listen with great care as You speak through others

If You want me to venture outside of my comfort zone
May I wholeheartedly and courageously do so for You
If it somehow means experiencing pain or suffering
As long as it is for You, then without a doubt it will still be worth it

May I be like Simon of Cyrene
Assisting You as You carry Your cross
Letting You know that You are not alone
And hopefully lightening Your heavy burden even just a bit

Bless this desire to be one with You in thoughts and feelings
Purify it so that it goes beyond being just mere words
Transform it into a more committed and purer love for You
That can somehow provide You comfort along Your way to Calvary

Thank you, dearest Lord.

+

Going to Our Center

2008-03-05T02:02:00.008+08:00

This artwork is the type of design that one can just sit in front of and get lulled into meditative state. I saw it in a museum and found it quite interesting. (The photo though, does not do justice to the actual work.) When you look at it for a long time, it begins to look like a representation of our core. Each one of us has a center within us, that part of us that is home to the deepest gifts that were given to us.

At work, it is always a joy to help people become more aware of their particular set of skills and talents and to guide them into moving themselves along the path that honors these special talents of theirs. Sometimes people are afraid and would prefer to stay within their comfort zone. Until the pull to move elsewhere or beyond gets stronger and a word of encouragement then goes a long way in helping them take that next bold step. Sometimes, people are confused because they are so good at listening to what everyone tells them about themselves, but are not used to listening to their own inner wisdom. And when they learn to take time off to really listen to their desires and passions, they come much closer to knowing their special gifts that reside in the the core of who they really are.

The most beautiful thing about all these is that touching our core is really touching God. For here at our center, we encounter Him, the creative genius and source of our being.

Time Out!

2008-02-15T01:33:00.009+08:00

Since this year began, it's been a series of happenings one after another. Lots of good things but also several tragic happenings, like the sudden death of a very good friend of over 20 years, sudden deaths of a high school classmate, another of an officemate, a relative suffering a stroke, several other officemates undergoing major surgeries... wow, it's almost unbelievable how these are happening one after another!!

If you also find yourself in the midst of sudden tragedies, or if you are now amidst a buzz of activities and feel you are running around like a headless chicken, you may also need to TIME OUT!!

Our spirit needs nourishment, even for just a while.

I want to share with you these photos of breathtaking beauty. The photos do not do justice to the actual scene, but they do capture a bit of the natural splendor. Sky, mountains, hills, trees, greens...

You may just sit still and gaze over it, and allow your mind and heart to be present to the beauty and splendor of what you see... Or, you may imagine it to be like a soft mat that you can lie on and rest for a while...

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all!
(by Cecil Alexander)

Made Special In Our Differences

2008-02-11T21:21:00.001+08:00

While hiking down the mountain last month, these two trees called for our attention. One was tall and slim, and seemed to be standing with grace and confidence. The other was short and leafy, and seemed to be calling us to its shade. Both were different in shape but each was a pleasant sight in its own way.

This reminded me of times in the past when I would feel inadequate in the presence of others who were more beautiful or charming, more articulate, more brilliant or kind, more this or more that.

But the Lord who made both trees special in their own way, also personally made each one of us unique and special in our differences. And He wants us to honor these differences as His own personal GIFTS to us.

Thank you, trees, for reminding me to see our being different from each other as His way of loving each one of us uniquely!

Prayer for Healing

2008-01-12T16:01:00.000+08:00

Prayer for Healing written by Fr. Fernando Suarez CC, who is Canada-based but who has been going around the country recently (http://www.fatherfernando.com), is a very consoling and powerful prayer. It's a prayer most apt when sitting in His loving presence. The photo here was taken at the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters Chapel in Tagaytay, a must-visit place for someone longing to sit quietly in His presence amidst cool and peaceful surroundings...

PRAYER FOR HEALING
by Fr. Fernando Suarez CC

Lord, look upon me with eyes of mercy.
May your healing Spirit rest upon me.
It is through your power that I was created.
Since you created me from nothing, you can certainly recreate me.
Fill me with the healing power of your spirit.
May your life-giving powers flow into every cell of my body and into the depths of my soul.
Mend what is broken.
Cast out anything that should not be within me.
Rebuild my brokenness.
Restore my strength for service in your Kingdom.
Touch my soul with Your compassion for others.
Touch my heart with Your courage and infinite love for all.
Touch my mind with your wisdom, that my mouth may always proclaim Your praise.
Teach me to reach out to You in my need, and help me to lead others to You by my example.
Most loving Heart of Jesus, bring me health in body and spirit that I may serve You with all my strength.

Prayer at Year End

2007-12-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

VESSEL OF YOUR LOVE
A Prayer of Consecration

Love within, oh Love Divine,
Lead me where You will
I am Yours completely
Use me as You please.

My only desire is to be ONE with You
I entrust to You my whole being -
Every single thought that passes through my head
Every word that comes from my mouth
Every action that I do
Every feeling that I feel
Every single cell of my body
Every last drop of my blood…

These I offer up to You.
May they only and always be
According toYour Will
And may everything that I do
Be done with love for You.

I love you Lord, from the very depths of my being!

For the Lay

2007-12-21T14:43:00.000+08:00

I asked dear Sr. F how should a lay person who is desirous of paralleling the vows of a religious go about it. And she gave a very insightful response. She said that as a lay person, one could live out the essence of poverty, chastity and obedience in the following way:

POVERTY - Using the resources He gave us FOR His purposes, and in the way that HE wants

CHASTITY - Practicing the fullness of loving

OBEDIENCE - Constant discernment of His will. Unlike the religious, whose obedience is through their superior, for a lay person, obedience is directly to God. However, this requires the faithful practice of discernment and daily examen.

Wow! What she said gives us so much to reflect and pray over. Call me weird, but I find this very exciting! It implies striving for generosity, openness, commitment, all of which are definitely easier said than done. But it also promises a richer, more loving and more meaningful life.

Under Our Lady's Watchful Care

2007-12-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

Last December 12 was the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe. It was also a special day for the little parish called Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe, located way out in the beautiful mountains of Bukidnon, in a simple place called Cabanglasan. Here is our prayer for them:

Nuestra Senora,

We pray that you continue to extend your watchful care
Over everyone living in this community in Cabanglasan
As well as over the different neighboring tribal communities of lumads.

May they be blessed with plentiful food and good health care
Access to learning opportunities as well as continued growth in Christian values
And may respect for their culture and heritage always be preserved.

May the Lord's light continue to shine also on the "shepherds" of the place
Keep the fire of their dedication to their mission burning in their hearts
So that they may continue to lead everyone to even greater love for you and your Son.

Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe,
We honor you and we thank you for your watchful care over this place.
Happy Feast Day!

Buksan ang Aming Puso

2007-12-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

This image was used more than once in the support sessions for unwed mothers in a shelter home, where together with the song written by Rolando Tinio, "Buksan ang Aming Puso", the girls one by one shared with each other their story of their painful past and current difficult situation.

A genuine Sacred Presence was often felt during the sessions. The image of their heart being opened, the rawness of the wounds being laid bare and touched, healing coming in the form of glimpses into their inner goodness, in skills for self-care, in sparks of acceptance and forgiveness of self, in stirrings of desire and resolve to make positive changes in their life... a prayer comes to mind:

"Lord, lead us to see through the many layers within our heart
That we may discover Your Sacred Presence at its very core;
Your heart in ours, filling up the hole once occupied by raw and painful wounds
Our heart in Yours, resting securely on reassurances of Your steadfast love;

Your heart bleeding from its own raw and painful wounds, which You entrust to us
To give us the courage to face our own shame, anger, hurt, helplessness, confusion
And finally to hold us and keep us together in the palm of Your hand forever."

Last Wednesday we closed the series of sessions, and by Christmas, most of the girls in this group would already have had to move on and out of the home.

Please pray for them - that they will continue to hold the image and the song below within their heart and continue to know how intertwined His heart is with their own. May that give them strength as they face the outside world again and carve out a new beginning for themselves.

BUKSAN ANG AMING PUSO

Buksan ang aming puso
Turuan Mong mag-alab
Sa bawat pagkukuro
Lahat ay makayakap

Buksan ang aming isip
Sikatan ng liwanag
Nang kusang matangkilik
Tungkuling mabanaag

Buksan ang aming palad
Sarili'y maialay
Tulungan Mong ihanap
Kami ng bagong malay.

Welcoming Advent

2007-12-02T07:02:00.003+08:00

Those of us who are "older" in years will readily recognize how apt this photo is for the Advent season...

May it speak to us in our quiet moments as Christmas approaches...

(photo by f.chow)

Birthday Greeting

2007-11-30T00:16:00.000+08:00

Dearest Tonette,

Every November 30, you would always celebrate the gift of your life in a big and special way. Today, my way of greeting you is via this little blog!

Your sisters wrote on your tombstone,
Sweet and gentle, gracious in suffering, strong in faith, invincible in hope...

To that, may I add,
Full of life, through laughter and tears,
A most wonderful companion on the journey!

See you again someday!

Trekking Through

2007-11-26T14:07:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, my officemates and I trekked through the little forest within the La Mesa dam area. Here's a prayer that came to mind as we forged ahead in our mission to do - weed pulling!)

PRAYER AT THE WORKPLACE

Dearest Lord,

Please be our Trekking Companion
For each trail we hike through
In every step we choose to take
In all the work we do

Sometimes we are so focused on our tasks
Running after the business goals and deliverables
That we forget to pause, to listen to You
And to make You a part of all our decisions

Sometimes we are impatient with others
Or even with ourselves
We lose sight of the inner person
And Your presence dwelling within

Each time this happens
Please pull us back on the right trail
Remind us that You want to be a part
Of each decision at work, each step along the way

Remind us again and again of You
Ready to lead us
Always beside us
Our Trekking Companion

Begging to Fall in Love

2007-11-21T12:12:00.000+08:00

I find that one of the richest prayers we can offer for others is to simply ask that she or he FALLS IN LOVE with the Lord. As in truly and genuinely falls in love with Him. Because a heart blessed with this grace will surely move in His direction. With all its freedom, such a heart will choose to stay only within the bounds of His great love and all that He wills. And that is already the best thing that can ever happen to a person.

I often beg for this grace for myself, for family members especially for my husband, children, mother, siblings and their families, close friends, others who seek help/guidance, as well as for those in religious life who also need our prayers. Whether or not changes are evident because of the prayers, there is always the strong faith that something good will surely happen because God surely can not refuse such a request. The wish that people fall in love (and stay in love) with Him is probably his single most desire too. The source of all Love can only surrender to such a begging! In time, the prayers will surely bear fruit.

There is a song that I often play when driving alone in the car because in such quiet moments, these words evoke much feeling of love for the Lord. Each line is so deep. I can imagine that the heart of the lyricist/composer, Fr. Arnel dC Aquino, S.J. must have been already captivated by His love to be able to write such a beautiful song. The words are great, but made many times even better when sung straight from the heart:

I Beg to Fall in Love with Thee, My Lord

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord
With ev'ry breath of life I take.
I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord
Its ev'ry beat, I to Thee forsake.

For even if my thoughts fall short of knowing You,
And even if my will runs terrified,
Your passion thins the darkness of my soul
Sheds it light, breathes it life, stills the murmur of the night.

For even if my heart falls short of loving You,
And even if my spirit hides away,
Your love for me surpasses all my fear,
All I do, all I am, all that I can ever be.

His Light Through the Window

2007-11-16T20:00:00.000+08:00

Windows have a special wisdom to them. A window can serve as a protective barrier to prevent what we fear from getting too close. We shut the window to feel more safe. We can also, however, choose to open the window, and adjust how little or how much we want the opening to be. We open it wider when we want more to flow in from outside, and we decrease the opening when we need more time and space to be alone. The most beautiful thing about windows is that even in times when they are shut, good light can still shine through!

The windows in the photo here remind me of our own heart. We easily build high walls around or shut the door of our heart when we have been hurt. The higher the wall the safer! The stronger the lock on the door, the better. Or so we think. Until in the process, we end up shutting out our very capacity to receive and to feel love.

But our dear Lord would rather that we do away with walls and doors and instead, He prefers that we use windows. Windows that can be closed when we need to feel more safe, but that can also be opened when we finally decide we will allow ourselves to be more open to love and life from around us. The good Lord knows that as long as our heart has a window, His light can still shine through and reach us, even when we have closed the window and think we have successfully shut out the world.

This is wisdom of the window. It enables our heart to be touched by His light shining through, and to receive love and life again :=)

The Gift of Caring

2007-11-12T19:07:00.000+08:00

The photo is a hand painting done by a group of children during the 2007 Vides Mission Camp in Bacolod, while the poem below is from an email that has been circulating. It was written by a certain Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles, CWL Spiritual Director of St. Augustine Parish, Baliuag, Bulacan.

When I first read the poem below, I felt a big lump in my throat and my eyes became quite teary as it reminded me of my 81- year old mom. When my father passed away in year 2000, my husband, three children and I packed up our own household and moved into the home where I grew up, with the mission of taking care of my mom. It's been seven years now that we have day in and day out been with her and witnessed her gradual transition into her elderly years.

For someone who loves to listen to others, she now more often than not has to humbly ask others to repeat what they had just said because she has difficulty hearing several of the words.

For someone who used to think nothing about walking kilometers to mass daily, she now needs to exert a lot of energy as she limps about from one part of the home to another. Off-and-on pain is a daily occurrence, something she more often than not tries to bear silently.

Reading the poem called my attention to the gift we live with within our midst. The gift of caring for someone now more frail. The gift of being able to mirror back to her the same unquestioning sacrifice and care she loved us with when we were frail and helpless infants ourselves.

Thank you, Rev. Fr. Robles for this beautiful poem in honor of our elderly. It is very precious to all of us who are in the process of learning how to better "understand from the inside" and to care for our elderly loved ones.

Here is the poem in full:

Sulat ni Tatay at Nanay

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan.
Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan
o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan,
huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan.
Maramdamin ang ang isang matanda.
Nagse-self-pity ako a tuwing sisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihanang sinasabi mo,
huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!"
paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulatnalang.
Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo,
katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man
ay nagiging makulit at paulit ulit na parang sirang plaka.
Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako.
Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan.
Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa?
Kapag gusto mo ng lobo,paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin,
maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo.

Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy.
Amoy matanda, amoy lupa.
Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo.
Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan,
huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.

Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa?
Pinagtiyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong mailigo.
Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit,
dala na marahil ito ng katandaan.
Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentohan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang.
Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap.
Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho,

subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentohan ka,
kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko.
Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa?
Pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento
tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit
at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman,
huwag mo sana akong pagsawaan alagaan.
Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan,
pagtiyagaan mo sana akong alagan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay.

Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw,
hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako
ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha,
ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain kasana... dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama't ina...

Written by Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles

CWL Spiritual Director

St. AugustineParish

Baliuag, Bulacan

God's Embrace

2007-11-09T00:45:00.000+08:00

This is a sheet from a bookmark calendar we had at home over thirty years ago. Even back then, the dramatic-looking hands of God holding the little child very securely attracted me. When my children see this today, they say the hands are too old, dark and wrinkled. Almost scary. But when I look at it, all I still see is His love embracing tightly the vulnerable little child.

For many years even until mid-life, it was very difficult to really feel God in prayer. Like a lot of people, I knew He was always there. But feeling? It's not something you can just create at your own whim. Then I saw this picture again. I posted it on the cover of my prayer journal. While undergoing the Ignatian spiritual exercises at that time, I would use this photo to start my daily prayer. I imagined myself to be the little child, resting within the security of that embrace. The breakthrough was when I was also reassured that staying within His embrace was indeed already a prayer all by itself! Just being the vulnerable little child in the picture was prayer??! In time, the feelings came. God in His goodness used this image of His loving embrace, never mind the wrinkled, "scary" look, to allow me to feel Him - finally!

If you are also going through some struggle in "feeling God", really desiring it but not being able to, may you somehow discover an image that will help bring it about. Pray for this with all your heart, that the image that He wants to give especially to you will come. And then trust that in time, you will be able to really feel Him.

God bless you