In Contemplation

                                                                                  photo by Fr. A. Bugtas, S.J.

As from the sun, descend the rays*

As from the fountain, the waters*

As from the Spirit, births new life

As from the heart, flows Divine Love

Divine Majesty 
Fountain full of life

Spill forth your spirit
In sparkling showers

Enlighten all searching

Lavish on all thirsting

Renewal and healing

Your labour unceasing

You dwell within us

Generous Giver
Of all that is good
Dear self-giving God

 Take now my whole heart

And all of my soul
Everything for you
With deep love and thanks

~ o ~

* from The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, A Literal Translation

I Know My Sheep

"I am the Good Shepherd... I know my sheep and my sheep know me..." These lines have lingered in my mind  and heart recently. It really strikes me how Jesus tried to convey to us with these words the type of love our Lord God has for us. He was not referring to a relationship of authority - a shepherd having authority over subordinate sheep. Or just about duty - a shepherd having a duty to look after the flock. The use of the word "know" touches me. He knows each and every sheep. Though they all sport fuzzy white wool, he is fully aware of who are present and who strays.. or is lost. He knows where the stray one might head for, and where to find it. In like manner, the sheep can recognize right away when it is its shepherd's voice. It feels at home, it feels safe. It even knows that the good shepherd will come looking for it and will still swoop it up into his arms and hold it close inspite of its having strayed away from the flock.

I am amazed that Jesus used this metaphor to describe our relationship with our God. If He used this, it could only be truth. Truth that this is a relationship of deep caring and intimate loving. He could have stopped at, "I am the shepherd and you are the sheep." but instead He made sure that He described this love as: "I know my sheep and my sheep know me...", and more than that, "For these sheep, I will give my life..."

Truly our Good Shepherd.

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He Gave Us His All

While praying over the Last Supper, it dawned on me that this was one of the most beautiful scenes in the life of Jesus - the moment when Jesus, amidst his turmoil of emotions due to frustrations over hypocritical structures, anger and hurt over fickleness and betrayals, and also sadness over the little limited time He had left, still stayed very focused on his mission to impart his Father's love to us. This He did during the Last Supper by giving us the gift of his very self in the form of the bread and the wine which He clearly said was his very body and blood. Bread blessed, broken and then shared. Wine blessed and then shared. Nothing less than He himself that was soon to be broken was being shared. His own very flesh and blood given!

It was more than enough that He had already reached out to so many people, including the most unwanted or shunned, performed miracles and told parable after parable about his Father's generous and forgiving love, assured us that He was the Good Shepherd who knew and loved every one of his sheep, that like the woman who continued to search unceasingly for her lost coin, He would always be here for us. His teachings were well documented and would stay a source of rich inspiration for generations to come. 

But no, even in his last, most difficult moments on earth, He still very deliberately gave us this precious gift of his whole self as manifested in the Eucharist - His very self that would endure so much suffering and even death out of love for us. In giving us the gift of the Eucharist, He gave us His all - forever!

Two thousand years since that memorable Last Supper, the Eucharist as well as the Blessed Sacrament, which we know as his True Presence, continues to affect us deeply. Sitting and praying before the Blessed Sacrament, or receiving Him into our own body and soul at mass, we are drawn closer each time to His loving and lifegiving heart. How amazing that this continues to this day! How fortunate for us that He chose to give us His all! 

My dearest Lord,

In the Eucharist

You gave us everything

Each and every and all of you.

Teach me now to do the same

To give you the whole of me

The each and every and all of me

To genuinely imitate the way 

You gave us Your all

Amen.

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Finding God on the Roll

Last week, we celebrated our daughter's birthday in a rather unique and creative way, by going to Enchanted Kingdom. We plotted our series of rides, intentionally leaving the roller coaster for the climax. Our children had no second thoughts about it - they were going to ride! The roller coaster was precisely the reason why we chose to go to this place. 

I found myself wanting to do the same, but also very scared. Just looking at the coaster from afar was enough to tense up my whole system. Three times the coaster would be totally upside down! This was really a challenge for one who easily gets dizzy from an octopus ride, or that sinking feeling on a ferris wheel on its way down. There was a part of me though, that really wanted to do it. Perhaps this was a midlife urge - to break away from old fears and to move forward with a new way of living more daringly and courageously.  

Then it was time!  My hands grew cold, my heart felt tight. Until I decided to resort to the one sure way I knew would bring inner strength and peace - the act of surrender, of entrusting the whole of my being to Him. So when we were finally seated (at the very front row, for that is what these most daring kids of ours wanted!) and strapped securely in place, I decided to close my eyes and pray, "Lord, envelope me with your presence and be with me all the way so that I can survive and even enjoy this ride!"

Then the roller coaster began to move, swinging backward, lunging forward, curling up and circling 360 degrees, then with growing momentum, again lunging forward and then circling 360 degrees for the second time, then upon dropping down, quickly circling 360 degrees for the third time, and so on and so forth. Everything happened so fast, and people were screaming. I remained very quiet thoughout, while my eyes saw only darkness. I did feel some push and pull movement, the cool wind, and the security of the two straps, which all throughout I imagined to be Jesus arms holding me securely in place!)  Then in a short while, the whole ride was over. (What! So soon?!) 

We made it, hooray!! But my real joy was internal. I felt that this roller coaster ride was a real encounter with the Lord. A very special moment of feeling securely wrapped with His presence, a moment when fear was relegated to the back while the choice to just place myself in His hands and surrender my fears to Him enabled me to experience inner peace and courage. 

Who could have imagined that a roller coaster ride would turn into a graced encounter, a memorable spiritual experience!

Finding God on the roll... 

I'd gladly do it again, but next time, perhaps with eyes wide open!


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I Will Be Here

I like this old song (popularized by Gary Valenciano) very much because the words provide much consolation during moments when I feel most vulnerable and alone. Like a child in need of a hand to hold on to, and in need of another's eyes that can show the way through the dark, I listen to every word of the song and am again reminded of what He asks: "Trust me. I will be here."

I WILL BE HERE

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up

And the sun does not appear

I...I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like bein' quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to cryin'

Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'

We'll be together

'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I...I'll be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

I...I will be here

I will be here

You can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you

And I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true

To the promise I have made

To you and to the

One who gave you to me

I...I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

'Cause I...

I will be here....

We'll be together, forever

'Cause I will be here

I will be here

- Steven Chapman

These words also ring true for how I feel towards those entrusted to my care: 

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like bein' quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And especially, 

I will be true

To the promise I have made

To you and to the

One who gave you to me

But in their need of a hand to hold on to, and of eyes to help them see through the darkness of their own vulnerabilities, instead of  saying, "Trust me,"  what I share with them is, 

"Trust Him. He will be here."

 
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Rhythms in our Life

I smile to myself whenever I notice a plant in the garden that I had given up as withered suddenly come to life again with the budding of a new flower.

I am reminded of the song goes, "Everything has a season, everything has its time..."

Sometimes we force something to happen by driving ourselves and others so hard towards a certain desired outcome, to no avail. But when we stop trying too hard, and instead just listen to the underlying rhythm.. when we give ourselves permission to just let things be for the moment.. oftentimes we realize that whatever it is we were hoping to achieve does fall into place.  In its own time and way, it comes toward us very subtly, gradually, peacefully. His "Invisible Hand" silently works to bring us our heart's desire, without our having to expend a lot of energy for it.

Of course there are some outcomes that will never materialize unless we put in effort.  But there are also many occassions where our own efforts result in very little outcome, especially when the timing is not right, or when something is really not yet ready to surface.

The best kind of flow is one which respects the underlying rhythms in our life. One which moves us towards patience, perseverance, and the art of waiting. Not a passive waiting but rather the active trusting and believing that He watches over us and will actively give us all that is good, within the right time.

When our rhythm is synchronized with His rhythm, new beginnings and new life flows naturally,

even from the most seemingly withered or unlikely situations.
 

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St. Joseph of Nazareth

The "hidden years" of Jesus, which consisted of his early childhood years till the age of thirty when he began his public ministry, must have been very special years for him in the company of Mama Mary and St. Joseph.

Joseph was Jesus' first teacher in the school of love. How many times the child Jesus and his playmates must have climbed up Joseph's lap to listen to his stories about Abraham or Moses and how God loved and spoke with them.  How often Joseph must have walked with the young Jesus around the neighborhood, showing him what it meant to really look after the blind man or the sick woman or the shamed leper. Then when Joseph was nearing death, what instructions and last words might he have whisphered to Jesus to further embed in him his love for his mission. No doubt, Jesus must have treasured all that Joseph was to him and all that Joseph taught him, and carried these in his heart throughout his whole life and all the way until his own death on the cross.


PRAYER TO ST. JOSEPH

Blessed Joseph, husband of Mary,
be with us this day.
You protected and cherished the Virgin;
loving the child Jesus as your son,
you rescued him from the danger of death.
Defend the Church, the household of God,
purchased by the blood of Christ.

Guardian of the Holy Family,
be with us in our trials.
May your prayers obtain for us
the strength to flee from error
and wrestle with the powers of corruption
so that in life we may grow in holiness
and in death rejoice in the crown of victory.
Amen.


(author unknown)

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