Easter Joy

Holy Week each year is such a special time of being with the Lord. It's like staying beside your best friend as he or she goes through the greatest trial of his or her life. Letting him or her know that although we can not fully enter into his or her pain that is beyond human comprehension, we still hope that somehow our full presence beside Him can provide even a second of comfort and even a tiny relief in the weight of the cross He carries.

Amazing though how the Lord is never outdone in generosity. Whenever we try to give of ourselves to Him, He gives us more graces than we can hold and leaves us with a tender feeling of being loved so specially.

Interesting how in the past few days, the talks given by different priests from different places all seemed to revolve around the same theme. Either that was true or I may have been selectively listening.

A few days before the week began, we received from Fr. M. an excerpt from the book "The Reed of God". What beautiful insights on faith! It said that, "With faith we are like blind people learning, through the touch of caressing fingers, the features of the face that we cannot see... We discover the Face that we seek in every human face... we must seek with a more sensitive medium than sight.. we discern the invisible beauty of the Man abiding in mankind..."

Then during Holy Thursday, the talk in the morning revolved around the many faces of "the greatest love of all" and the truth that "nothing can separate us from the love of God." I thought to myself, we have heard this many times before and it makes everything seem so simple, and yet, how to really believe it with every fiber of my being and allow this love of His to really flow through to whoever He wishes it to reach... I couldn't help thinking that the talk was all about love, and yet unlike Valentines, here it was love within the embrace of the our cross/His cross... Then as if the Lord really wanted to drive home the point about His love and banish all doubts or lukewarm understanding of it, the homilist in the evening mass so eloquently reminded us about Pope Benedict's letter on hope, where he refers to "the INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE of God" as the source of all our strength and hope. Meaningful beyond words!

After the mass, I wanted so much to sit in darkness and silence in front of the tabernacle. But the church was full of sounds and light, and people coming and going. I finally lifted it to Him saying, "Lord, you know how I really wish to be alone with you in the Garden on this night, to keep you company, to be with you in your agony." As I left the chapel and took a walk in the garden, I suddenly noticed a life-sized statue of our Lord on his knees in prayer. It was very dark, but the full moon peeking through the trees gave the sky a certain glow. I sat on the bench beside this statue and closed my eyes... What a pleasant surprise to be able to pray with Him alone, in silence, in the Garden... It was like a gift being received to suddenly be in the very setting I had just a few minutes earlier expressed to Him. The love of God never outdone!

At the start of Lent, I had asked for the grace to know His thoughts and feelings as He carried his cross and that somehow I could be with Him in it. I feel a tender feeling inside when I recall now how on Good Friday, sometime around dusk, while sharing with Him the heaviness I felt from wanting others to also discover the greatness of His love but somehow being met with responses different from what was hoped for, His words came and came in abundance. He reminded me to "Accept and take people where they are..." that love for Him can not be forced but only encouraged... that what I could do is to just continue sharing His love with them, allowing His love to flow to them... that His great love that He wanted to give them but that they were not really ready or open to receive yet... that is what He carries as His cross... and that I also help carry His cross whenever I also feel His hurt and pain, while taking people where they are with understanding and love, and just continue to let His love flow to them. Together we can carry the cross.. believing in that promise of our Father's "indestructible love", drawing strength from there and holding on to the hope that it promises...

Lord, with all these, what more can we say?

Then to top it all, the Easter Vigil was such a beautiful way to close the solemn days and to open up a new year of renewed faith, hope and love. It all came together. A reassurance of moving in the right direction, of our shared mission to bring His love where He wills, to those whom He wants to reach. The homilist flashed on screen photos of the many faces of Christ as hidden within people, especially people within our own country who live in poverty and hunger both materially, psycho-emotionally, spiritually - "...the features of the face that we cannot see... the Face that we seek in every human face... the invisible beauty of the Man abiding in mankind..."

Of all the versions of "Ang Puso Ko'y Nagpupuri", I really like the one sung acapela by the Hangad choir. I would often play it in the car, and it never fails to leave my heart feeling like it would want to burst with love for Him. Last night, it was the Hangad choir who sang at mass. And lo and behold, at the very end of the mass, they burst into song, filling the whole church with "Ang Puso Ko'y Nagpupuri"! A taste of heaven!!!

"Lord, what more can I say? From the very start, with the beautiful excerpts sent to us, to the insightful talks on Holy Thursday, to our being together in the Garden at night, to your revelation on how to really be with you daily in the carrying of your cross, our cross, to the beautiful music played last night, the words of the song which You know very well speaks of overflowing love... You are really such a generous God!"

He is a universal God and yet also so personal.

Happy Easter!

(Photo of Jesus: by F. Chow)