Birthday Greeting

Dearest Tonette,

Every November 30, you would always celebrate the gift of your life in a big and special way. Today, my way of greeting you is via this little blog!

Your sisters wrote on your tombstone,
Sweet and gentle, gracious in suffering, strong in faith, invincible in hope...

To that, may I add,
Full of life, through laughter and tears,
A most wonderful companion on the journey!

See you again someday!

Trekking Through

Last Saturday, my officemates and I trekked through the little forest within the La Mesa dam area. Here's a prayer that came to mind as we forged ahead in our mission to do - weed pulling!)


PRAYER AT THE WORKPLACE

Dearest Lord,

Please be our Trekking Companion
For each trail we hike through
In every step we choose to take
In all the work we do

Sometimes we are so focused on our tasks
Running after the business goals and deliverables
That we forget to pause, to listen to You
And to make You a part of all our decisions

Sometimes we are impatient with others
Or even with ourselves
We lose sight of the inner person
And Your presence dwelling within

Each time this happens
Please pull us back on the right trail
Remind us that You want to be a part
Of each decision at work, each step along the way

Remind us again and again of You
Ready to lead us
Always beside us
Our Trekking Companion

Begging to Fall in Love

I find that one of the richest prayers we can offer for others is to simply ask that she or he FALLS IN LOVE with the Lord. As in truly and genuinely falls in love with Him. Because a heart blessed with this grace will surely move in His direction. With all its freedom, such a heart will choose to stay only within the bounds of His great love and all that He wills. And that is already the best thing that can ever happen to a person.

I often beg for this grace for myself, for family members especially for my husband, children, mother, siblings and their families, close friends, others who seek help/guidance, as well as for those in religious life who also need our prayers. Whether or not changes are evident because of the prayers, there is always the strong faith that something good will surely happen because God surely can not refuse such a request. The wish that people fall in love (and stay in love) with Him is probably his single most desire too. The source of all Love can only surrender to such a begging! In time, the prayers will surely bear fruit.

There is a song that I often play when driving alone in the car because in such quiet moments, these words evoke much feeling of love for the Lord. Each line is so deep. I can imagine that the heart of the lyricist/composer, Fr. Arnel dC Aquino, S.J. must have been already captivated by His love to be able to write such a beautiful song. The words are great, but made many times even better when sung straight from the heart:


I Beg to Fall in Love with Thee, My Lord

I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord
With ev'ry breath of life I take.
I beg to fall in love with Thee, my Lord
Its ev'ry beat, I to Thee forsake.

For even if my thoughts fall short of knowing You,
And even if my will runs terrified,
Your passion thins the darkness of my soul
Sheds it light, breathes it life, stills the murmur of the night.

For even if my heart falls short of loving You,
And even if my spirit hides away,
Your love for me surpasses all my fear,
All I do, all I am, all that I can ever be.

His Light Through the Window

Windows have a special wisdom to them. A window can serve as a protective barrier to prevent what we fear from getting too close. We shut the window to feel more safe. We can also, however, choose to open the window, and adjust how little or how much we want the opening to be. We open it wider when we want more to flow in from outside, and we decrease the opening when we need more time and space to be alone. The most beautiful thing about windows is that even in times when they are shut, good light can still shine through!

The windows in the photo here remind me of our own heart. We easily build high walls around or shut the door of our heart when we have been hurt. The higher the wall the safer! The stronger the lock on the door, the better. Or so we think. Until in the process, we end up shutting out our very capacity to receive and to feel love.

But our dear Lord would rather that we do away with walls and doors and instead, He prefers that we use windows. Windows that can be closed when we need to feel more safe, but that can also be opened when we finally decide we will allow ourselves to be more open to love and life from around us. The good Lord knows that as long as our heart has a window, His light can still shine through and reach us, even when we have closed the window and think we have successfully shut out the world.

This is wisdom of the window. It enables our heart to be touched by His light shining through, and to receive love and life again :=)

The Gift of Caring

The photo is a hand painting done by a group of children during the 2007 Vides Mission Camp in Bacolod, while the poem below is from an email that has been circulating. It was written by a certain Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles, CWL Spiritual Director of St. Augustine Parish, Baliuag, Bulacan.

When I first read the poem below, I felt a big lump in my throat and my eyes became quite teary as it reminded me of my 81- year old mom. When my father passed away in year 2000, my husband, three children and I packed up our own household and moved into the home where I grew up, with the mission of taking care of my mom. It's been seven years now that we have day in and day out been with her and witnessed her gradual transition into her elderly years.

For someone who loves to listen to others, she now more often than not has to humbly ask others to repeat what they had just said because she has difficulty hearing several of the words.

For someone who used to think nothing about walking kilometers to mass daily, she now needs to exert a lot of energy as she limps about from one part of the home to another. Off-and-on pain is a daily occurrence, something she more often than not tries to bear silently.

Reading the poem called my attention to the gift we live with within our midst. The gift of caring for someone now more frail. The gift of being able to mirror back to her the same unquestioning sacrifice and care she loved us with when we were frail and helpless infants ourselves.

Thank you, Rev. Fr. Robles for this beautiful poem in honor of our elderly. It is very precious to all of us who are in the process of learning how to better "understand from the inside" and to care for our elderly loved ones.

Here is the poem in full:

Sulat ni Tatay at Nanay

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan.
Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan
o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan,
huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan.
Maramdamin ang ang isang matanda.
Nagse-self-pity ako a tuwing sisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihanang sinasabi mo,
huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!"
paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulatnalang.
Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo,
katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man
ay nagiging makulit at paulit ulit na parang sirang plaka.
Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako.
Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan.
Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa?
Kapag gusto mo ng lobo,paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin,
maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo.

Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy.
Amoy matanda, amoy lupa.
Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo.
Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan,
huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.

Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa?
Pinagtiyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong mailigo.
Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit,
dala na marahil ito ng katandaan.
Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentohan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang.
Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap.
Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho,

subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentohan ka,
kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko.
Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa?
Pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento
tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit
at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman,
huwag mo sana akong pagsawaan alagaan.
Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan,
pagtiyagaan mo sana akong alagan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay.

Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw,
hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako
ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha,
ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain kasana... dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama't ina...

Written by Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles

CWL Spiritual Director

St. AugustineParish

Baliuag, Bulacan

God's Embrace

This is a sheet from a bookmark calendar we had at home over thirty years ago. Even back then, the dramatic-looking hands of God holding the little child very securely attracted me. When my children see this today, they say the hands are too old, dark and wrinkled. Almost scary. But when I look at it, all I still see is His love embracing tightly the vulnerable little child.

For many years even until mid-life, it was very difficult to really feel God in prayer. Like a lot of people, I knew He was always there. But feeling? It's not something you can just create at your own whim. Then I saw this picture again. I posted it on the cover of my prayer journal. While undergoing the Ignatian spiritual exercises at that time, I would use this photo to start my daily prayer. I imagined myself to be the little child, resting within the security of that embrace. The breakthrough was when I was also reassured that staying within His embrace was indeed already a prayer all by itself! Just being the vulnerable little child in the picture was prayer??! In time, the feelings came. God in His goodness used this image of His loving embrace, never mind the wrinkled, "scary" look, to allow me to feel Him - finally!

If you are also going through some struggle in "feeling God", really desiring it but not being able to, may you somehow discover an image that will help bring it about. Pray for this with all your heart, that the image that He wants to give especially to you will come. And then trust that in time, you will be able to really feel Him.

God bless you

Build It Slow and Surely

Three years ago, there was nothing on this land except sand. The good woman who owns it however, brought it to life by taking her time, first installing a simple bamboo house and then little by little adding other structures. Today, there are not only structures, but even plants and flowers growing amidst the sands. Looking at the steps in the photo, I am reminded of the song from the movie "Brother Sun, Sister Moon" which St. Francis and his companions sang as they built their church:


BUILD IT SLOW AND SURELY

If you want your dream to be
Build it slow and surely
If you want to live like Him
Take your time, go slowly

Small beginning, greater end
Heartfelt work grows surely
Don't you think as you do them well
Simple joys are holy.

Day by day, stone by stone,
Build your secret slowly;
Day by day, you'll grow too,
You'll know heaven's glory.


The good woman had put her heart into it and had 'built it slow and surely'. Day by day, stone by stone, the place came to life.

Each of us also have certain things that we really want to happen in our life. Either dreams that seem impossible, or desires that remain unfulfilled for now. Work which seems too tough or which we can't seem to do well. Or, inner changes we want to bring about within ourselves that don't come easy and where we seem to keep on slipping backwards, repeating the same mistakes or getting stuck instead of moving forward. When this happens it's so easy to feel discouraged and want to throw in the towel and give up. Or to look for shortcuts and quick fixes. Or to brush reality aside and and try not deal with it.

But St. Francis in his song reminds us that some good things take time. If we hang in there and keep on working at it, day by day, stone by stone... if we remember to celebrate small beginnings and just keep on going with heartfelt work... trying to do few things but do them well while recognizing that simple joys are holy... sooner or later, like the good woman who slowly brought life to the sands, and like St. Francis and his companions who were able to finished their church, we too can slowly but surely, finally reach those 'greater ends'.

Day by day, stone by stone, step by step...

The Song Becomes a Prayer - 2

Here's another pop song (by the Carpenters) that's both fun to sing and that speaks of the Lord's comforting presence which we can count on day after day..

I Won't Last A Day Without You

Day after day I must face a world of strangers
Where I don't belong, I'm not that strong
It's nice to know that there's someone I can turn to
Who will always care, you're always there

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

So many times when the city seems to be without a friendly face
A lonely place
It's nice to know that you'll be there if I need you
And you'll always smile, it's all worthwhile

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

Touch me and I end up singing
Troubles seem to up and disappear
You touch me with the love you're bringing
I can't really lose when you're near

If all my friends have forgotten half their promises
They're not unkind, just hard to find
One look at you and I know that I could learn to live
Without the rest, I found the best

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

Lines That Speak

Whenever I visit the Pink Sisters' adoration chapel, one of the first things I do upon entering is to stand in front of the framed image of Our Lady of Czestochowa located at the back of the chapel. Below is an excerpt of the history of her image, taken from the this website: http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/czesto.htm.

"The Hussites successfully stormed the Pauline monastery in 1430, plundering the sanctuary. Among the items stolen was the image. After putting it in their wagon, the Hussites went a little ways but then the horses refused to go any further. Recalling the former incident that was so similar, the heretics threw the portrait down to the ground, which shattered the image into three pieces. One of the plunderers drew his sword and slashed the image twice, causing two deep gashes; while attempting a third gash, he was overcome with a writhing agony and died. The two slashes on the cheek of the Blessed Virgin, together with the one on the throat, not readily visible in our copy, have always reappeared after artistic attempts to fix them."


I love to run my fingers through her scars even if for someone of limited height, I have to tiptoe to be able to reach those lines! As I do so, I pray to her to intercede for those whom I know are in need of healing, others and myself included. The presence of the scars on her cheek offer much consolation. They seem to be saying, "Yes, I too, have experienced being wounded. I want to show you by the slashes on my cheek that STRENGTH can exist amidst woundedness. I am very much with you and with those you are praying for in your desire for healing. Together let us bring your scars to my son, Jesus."

The lines speak of strength. Of the miracle of healing that is within reach. Of Our Lady of Czestochowa's understanding and offering of herself to us.


Dearest Lady of Czestochowa,

Thank you for those consoling lines that speak! Through them, may we continue to love and honor you and your Son always!

Prayer Corner

The Joy of Praying for Others...

Requests for prayers are always nice to receive for two reasons: first, because it means that the requester somehow believes in the power of prayer. And second, because it allows us to be a participant in His creative work.

How so? As the Lord listens to the prayer request and decides in His heart what He will do for this person in need, we are like a little assistant allowed to stay beside Him and quietly observe how He will respond with love to the person. Sometimes His answers to the prayers are straightforward and simply in the same form as what was requested. But more often than not, His response is indirect or hidden underneath something else, and then it becomes a real joy to witness the unfolding of graces and their transforming effects!

Praying for others can take on different forms. One type that I find meaningful is when I decide to pray for someone on a particular day of the week and commit to do so on an ongoing basis. This can go on for years, whether or not the person is even aware of it. It's like choosing to be a prayer partner, a silent assistant in the background. We can even offer our pains or sufferings for the intentions of the other. The person shares with us what she or he needs, or we can just intuit based on cues.

Praying for the other is like tugging at the Lord's sleeves and asking Him to please keep His attention focused on this person, and then trusting that He really knows best what is needed for this person.

Whatever form one decides, it is all about walking together and being present with both the person and with the Lord on the journey... It is also about staying close to the Lord and humbly and quietly assisting in His ever-creative work.

Happy praying!

Without Clouds

"Without clouds, the rain can't wash the land

Without rain, the grass won't hide the sand
Without grass, the flower's bloom won't grow
Without pain, the joy in life won't show."

- The Dameans