Finding God on the Roll

Last week, we celebrated our daughter's birthday in a rather unique and creative way, by going to Enchanted Kingdom. We plotted our series of rides, intentionally leaving the roller coaster for the climax. Our children had no second thoughts about it - they were going to ride! The roller coaster was precisely the reason why we chose to go to this place. 

I found myself wanting to do the same, but also very scared. Just looking at the coaster from afar was enough to tense up my whole system. Three times the coaster would be totally upside down! This was really a challenge for one who easily gets dizzy from an octopus ride, or that sinking feeling on a ferris wheel on its way down. There was a part of me though, that really wanted to do it. Perhaps this was a midlife urge - to break away from old fears and to move forward with a new way of living more daringly and courageously.  

Then it was time!  My hands grew cold, my heart felt tight. Until I decided to resort to the one sure way I knew would bring inner strength and peace - the act of surrender, of entrusting the whole of my being to Him. So when we were finally seated (at the very front row, for that is what these most daring kids of ours wanted!) and strapped securely in place, I decided to close my eyes and pray, "Lord, envelope me with your presence and be with me all the way so that I can survive and even enjoy this ride!"

Then the roller coaster began to move, swinging backward, lunging forward, curling up and circling 360 degrees, then with growing momentum, again lunging forward and then circling 360 degrees for the second time, then upon dropping down, quickly circling 360 degrees for the third time, and so on and so forth. Everything happened so fast, and people were screaming. I remained very quiet thoughout, while my eyes saw only darkness. I did feel some push and pull movement, the cool wind, and the security of the two straps, which all throughout I imagined to be Jesus arms holding me securely in place!)  Then in a short while, the whole ride was over. (What! So soon?!) 

We made it, hooray!! But my real joy was internal. I felt that this roller coaster ride was a real encounter with the Lord. A very special moment of feeling securely wrapped with His presence, a moment when fear was relegated to the back while the choice to just place myself in His hands and surrender my fears to Him enabled me to experience inner peace and courage. 

Who could have imagined that a roller coaster ride would turn into a graced encounter, a memorable spiritual experience!

Finding God on the roll... 

I'd gladly do it again, but next time, perhaps with eyes wide open!


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I Will Be Here

I like this old song (popularized by Gary Valenciano) very much because the words provide much consolation during moments when I feel most vulnerable and alone. Like a child in need of a hand to hold on to, and in need of another's eyes that can show the way through the dark, I listen to every word of the song and am again reminded of what He asks: "Trust me. I will be here."

I WILL BE HERE

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up

And the sun does not appear

I...I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like bein' quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to cryin'

Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'

We'll be together

'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I...I'll be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

I...I will be here

I will be here

You can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you

And I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true

To the promise I have made

To you and to the

One who gave you to me

I...I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

'Cause I...

I will be here....

We'll be together, forever

'Cause I will be here

I will be here

- Steven Chapman

These words also ring true for how I feel towards those entrusted to my care: 

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like bein' quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And especially, 

I will be true

To the promise I have made

To you and to the

One who gave you to me

But in their need of a hand to hold on to, and of eyes to help them see through the darkness of their own vulnerabilities, instead of  saying, "Trust me,"  what I share with them is, 

"Trust Him. He will be here."

 
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Rhythms in our Life

I smile to myself whenever I notice a plant in the garden that I had given up as withered suddenly come to life again with the budding of a new flower.

I am reminded of the song goes, "Everything has a season, everything has its time..."

Sometimes we force something to happen by driving ourselves and others so hard towards a certain desired outcome, to no avail. But when we stop trying too hard, and instead just listen to the underlying rhythm.. when we give ourselves permission to just let things be for the moment.. oftentimes we realize that whatever it is we were hoping to achieve does fall into place.  In its own time and way, it comes toward us very subtly, gradually, peacefully. His "Invisible Hand" silently works to bring us our heart's desire, without our having to expend a lot of energy for it.

Of course there are some outcomes that will never materialize unless we put in effort.  But there are also many occassions where our own efforts result in very little outcome, especially when the timing is not right, or when something is really not yet ready to surface.

The best kind of flow is one which respects the underlying rhythms in our life. One which moves us towards patience, perseverance, and the art of waiting. Not a passive waiting but rather the active trusting and believing that He watches over us and will actively give us all that is good, within the right time.

When our rhythm is synchronized with His rhythm, new beginnings and new life flows naturally,

even from the most seemingly withered or unlikely situations.
 

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St. Joseph of Nazareth

The "hidden years" of Jesus, which consisted of his early childhood years till the age of thirty when he began his public ministry, must have been very special years for him in the company of Mama Mary and St. Joseph.

Joseph was Jesus' first teacher in the school of love. How many times the child Jesus and his playmates must have climbed up Joseph's lap to listen to his stories about Abraham or Moses and how God loved and spoke with them.  How often Joseph must have walked with the young Jesus around the neighborhood, showing him what it meant to really look after the blind man or the sick woman or the shamed leper. Then when Joseph was nearing death, what instructions and last words might he have whisphered to Jesus to further embed in him his love for his mission. No doubt, Jesus must have treasured all that Joseph was to him and all that Joseph taught him, and carried these in his heart throughout his whole life and all the way until his own death on the cross.


PRAYER TO ST. JOSEPH

Blessed Joseph, husband of Mary,
be with us this day.
You protected and cherished the Virgin;
loving the child Jesus as your son,
you rescued him from the danger of death.
Defend the Church, the household of God,
purchased by the blood of Christ.

Guardian of the Holy Family,
be with us in our trials.
May your prayers obtain for us
the strength to flee from error
and wrestle with the powers of corruption
so that in life we may grow in holiness
and in death rejoice in the crown of victory.
Amen.


(author unknown)

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Quiet Space

There is a garden in my heart

Where words stay silent

While colors speak

Where flowers bask in light

While gentle winds blow

Where God tenderly gazes

Then prayer flows

    

   

Two in One, on the Cross

  
Lord,

 Your Father said, "This is my Beloved Son, on whom my favor rests."
And yet on the cross, your body was broken.
You were Beloved, yet broken.

 You were so broken but you did not give us up.
You loved us until your death on the cross.
You were broken, yet you proved we were your Beloved.

 And now, on the cross
We know that brokenness and belovedness can co-exist.
The two together embodied in one cross.

 Like you, we are all broken yet Beloved
In our brokenness, we can believe in your love for us
In your love, our brokenness can find a home.

 Two in one, on the cross  +

 

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Prayer of Letting Go

Our good Lord gifted me with 25 years of being in exactly the organization I had always wanted to be in, doing the nature of work I have been very happy with, in the company of many good supervisors and colleagues, and amidst friendships that will endure for a lifetime. One couldn't ask for a better comfort zone!  Gratitude for the all these blessings overwhelm.

But "all things indeed have their season and all things have their time."  So after the numerous warm goodbyes, now comes the task of letting go, self-emptying, and movement into solitude and inner stillness. Into more attentive listening and responding to the gentle promptings of His Spirit.   

"Unless the grain of wheat falls deep into the earth;

Unless it dies, it remains alone.

But if it dies, the harvest indeed is great.

From this one seed comes a hundredfold."

My dearest Lord, I now offer up to You the next 25 years, or whatever remaining life you give me. Please lead me into whatever and wherever You desire. To a life of love and unity with You.

With all my heart, I beg, that like the grain of wheat, I may learn "to die, so that I may truly live in You." 

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