Resting in His Heart

 

This Lenten season had a different feel to it. Perhaps because it came later, April rather than in March, there was more time to take in the colors of March - the red and light pink, orange, white, yellow and fuschia bougainvillas sprouting and shooting out life everywhere around the city.. Classes were over and there was now time to relish a slowing  down of activity.  No more rushing of school work.  All submissions done and over for good. Other commitments also done with for the time being.  Time to gradually transition into a quiet. Time to stand alone, to be still, to just be. Time to come before Him with no other agenda but to listen, to enter into His Heart, to lay at rest in Him. 

"My soul is restless oh Lord, until it rests in You."  How many times have I heard this line, or versions of it, before. It always seemed like an ideal but distant goal. So out of reach. Could it even be possible at all? Could one really rest in His Heart, and feel that elusive peace? Or would it last but a moment and then be gone?

And yet, through a series of events and experiences which I can only recognize as pure grace, I have felt His steadfast presence, the very tenderness and gentleness of His faithful, life-giving love. His most Sacred Heart which years ago He laid on His palm and invited me to carry and to love, He again laid before me.

 

It cannot be expressed adequately in words. I just know it from within, that this raw, wounded, bleeding and vulnerable Heart of His, He again offered and entrusted, with so much tenderness, love, and even gratitude. It stumped me, and for a while I felt so unworthy. Until I realized how genuinely and sincerely He meant it. Only our Lord can be such Love.

 

I feel the stillness. How long this will last, I don't know. And it doesn't matter. It is a stillness bursting with joy from within. A deep sense of security. A resting on inner peace, like laying on a mat made of intertwining fibers of His life and love. I don't fully understand it, but I just feel and know it as here,  present. How can a rest feel full of life? I guess this is like asking, how can a vulnerable, bleeding Sacred Heart be bursting with love? God is a mystery, but a secure and joy-filled one.

 

Some things in life, we don't need to ask or analyze too much. We just need to savor and behold. To allow ourselves to receive. To rest in His Heart. To savor the peace and stillness. To receive His love  and just be... for Him.

 

"My Lord and my God!"

 

 

 

 

                           beautiful wall painting by H.Sy, G.Sy, D.Sy



.