Innate Beauty

 

Every year, the University of the Philippines plants rows and rows of sunflowers, calculated to bloom in time for the graduations. The idea is to plant one flower for each graduate, I guess symbolically. What a wonderful tradition!  It enables flower-loving folks like me to feast our eyes on the sea of standing green stalks and yellow "faces" peering out at the sun. The sunflowers remind me of people who stand tall, and who have an openness that invites light to come closer.

 

 

When you look closely at the center of the flower, you will notice the intricately ordered design of the dots.  What you see may amaze you. You may  realize that something like this just doesn't happen by accident.  That there is an order to created things that is natural and not man-made. That the order may not be visible from afar - when you look at the sunflowers from a distance, you might hardly notice the patterns. But when you really look, you will notice that the symmetrical design has a natural beauty of its own.  Just like when we really look at a person, only then can we come to appreciate the innate beauty that is always there within. All sunflowers carry such symmetry, just like all of us persons carry much innate beauty. 

 

I also love how the numerous yellow petals emanate from the center of the flower and point outwards. They are securely attached to the base, so that hardly a petal falls to the ground by itself.  How I wish we could all be like one of these petals, securely attached to the center, and connected to each other so that no one falls away alone. Banded together, but pointed outward with an open stance that invites people to gaze at the center. The petals, when taken as a whole, comprise a beautiful flower.

 

The sunflowers bloom in good timing with the Lenten and Easter season. Graduations happen around this time, making sunflowers a more apt Easter bloom than lilies, which we hardly see anywhere.
 
Our God, who went to great lengths to show us His love for us through His passion, death and resurrection, is the very same God who planted an intricately beautiful center within each of us. As we celebrate the joy of Easter, we can also celebrate the joy of being His special creation.

Happy Easter!

 

 

 

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Resting in His Heart

 

This Lenten season had a different feel to it. Perhaps because it came later, April rather than in March, there was more time to take in the colors of March - the red and light pink, orange, white, yellow and fuschia bougainvillas sprouting and shooting out life everywhere around the city.. Classes were over and there was now time to relish a slowing  down of activity.  No more rushing of school work.  All submissions done and over for good. Other commitments also done with for the time being.  Time to gradually transition into a quiet. Time to stand alone, to be still, to just be. Time to come before Him with no other agenda but to listen, to enter into His Heart, to lay at rest in Him. 

"My soul is restless oh Lord, until it rests in You."  How many times have I heard this line, or versions of it, before. It always seemed like an ideal but distant goal. So out of reach. Could it even be possible at all? Could one really rest in His Heart, and feel that elusive peace? Or would it last but a moment and then be gone?

And yet, through a series of events and experiences which I can only recognize as pure grace, I have felt His steadfast presence, the very tenderness and gentleness of His faithful, life-giving love. His most Sacred Heart which years ago He laid on His palm and invited me to carry and to love, He again laid before me.

 

It cannot be expressed adequately in words. I just know it from within, that this raw, wounded, bleeding and vulnerable Heart of His, He again offered and entrusted, with so much tenderness, love, and even gratitude. It stumped me, and for a while I felt so unworthy. Until I realized how genuinely and sincerely He meant it. Only our Lord can be such Love.

 

I feel the stillness. How long this will last, I don't know. And it doesn't matter. It is a stillness bursting with joy from within. A deep sense of security. A resting on inner peace, like laying on a mat made of intertwining fibers of His life and love. I don't fully understand it, but I just feel and know it as here,  present. How can a rest feel full of life? I guess this is like asking, how can a vulnerable, bleeding Sacred Heart be bursting with love? God is a mystery, but a secure and joy-filled one.

 

Some things in life, we don't need to ask or analyze too much. We just need to savor and behold. To allow ourselves to receive. To rest in His Heart. To savor the peace and stillness. To receive His love  and just be... for Him.

 

"My Lord and my God!"

 

 

 

 

                           beautiful wall painting by H.Sy, G.Sy, D.Sy



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A Place Under the Sun

source:  facebook site "Provence Mon Amour" 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Provence-Mon-Amour/298011073568174?id=298011073568174&sk=photos_stream 

 Looking at the photos of Provence is always such a rejuvenating and happy experience for me. I just love the colors of the lavender fields, sunflowers, daisies, and many other flowers that I do not know the names of but that give such a vibrant and colorful look to the place! This is my dream place, my place under the sun that I would really like to see in actual, even just once, before I die. 

 

 

source:  facebook site, "Experience Provence"

https://www.facebook.com/groups/128473327650/photos/
 

 There is something very French about me. My name for one is a hard to spell French version of the name. I love the soothing sound of French music. I studied in a convent school whose mother foundress is French and whose mother house is located in France. My favorite saint is French.  I love listening to the language even if I do not know what is being said. I LOVE French impressionist paintings to the bone and can spend hours and hours just appreciating them. They are the only type of paintings I will go out of my way to view.  

 

 

 

source: "Provence, Mon Amour"

 

  

Now, Provence just happens to be right in the heart of France - so doesn't that make it a most fitting and perfect dream place?!!

 

 

 

 source:  "Experience Provence"

 

 

 source: "Experience Provence"

 

 

Provence Mon Amour and Experience Provence, the Facebook sites where all these beautiful photos came from, do an excellent job of showcasing the charm and lure of the place. Thank God for these sites!

 

 

source: "Provence, Mon Aumor"

 

 

 source: "Provence, Mon Amour"

 

 

 It's really a wonderful feeling to have a place like this to enjoy thinking about, look at and dream of going to...

 

 

 

 source: "Provence, Mon Amour"

 

 

Provence, mon amour, I shall see you one day - even if I have to ride on a wheelchair, or be carried on a stretcher to see you!  

 

 

 

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Carry Me Within

 

 

I recently attended a very right-brained type of retreat where the medium for prayer was through clay. First we were asked to separate the stones that were embedded within the clay. That took some time to finish. Then we were asked to soften our clay with the use of water. While working on it, I figured that flattening the clay, adding water on top, and then folding the flattened sheet of clay, would help to keep the water within, thereby softening the material. Think of spreading peanut butter and sugar on top of a slice of bread, and then folding the bread into a sandwich. The sandwich now makes the combined taste of the bread and the peanut butter more seamless. Finally, we were asked to shape the clay into a pot. There were two rounds. First was the shaping, and then the refining of the shape into a more defined design. We did each step in silence, to allow reflection while working. Then afterwards, we were asked to pray.

 

For some reason, the activities appealed very much to me. Perhaps this is because I am by nature more of a right-brainer. As I took out the stones from the clay, I felt a strong desire to be cleansed of dirt and sin that the jewel within may become visible. As we softened the clay, I realized that only when we allow grace to be laid upon us (like the water spread on the clay) can our hearts begin to soften and take in how much God loves us and wants to form us. Grace upon hardened body, mind and spirit. Cycle after cycle of repeated laying out and allowing spirit to touch inner life. Till I have absorbed a level of His love enough to live with the vulnerability that comes with softness or weakness, and yet am solid enough to en-trust my would-be future form to Him... while he shapes my pot into whatever He desires.

 

At first, the pot seemed very crude and awkward. Like it had a long way to go before it could be seen as okay. And yet, with each shaping effort, a voice within seemed to constantly whisper in my ear, "The form does not matter. The form does not matter. What is most important is that you carry Me within your heart. Then all shall be well."  Carry Him within. That was all He was asking. He would take care of the rest. In whatever form or shape we are, we are made complete and perfect in His eyes, because we were given the ability to carry Him within us. All we need is to be true to what He really desires from us - which is to carry Him, to know, to love, to serve Him by carrying Him when we are alone, and when we can offer Him to others from the love for Him within us.

 

In the end, when the pot was refined, it was not the most beautiful pot if one were to evaluate it from point of view of "the world" and the way art is measured. But I just knew in my heart that this was the most beautiful pot for me, simply because He shaped it as He desired. Every feature of it came from the palm of His hands. Every light and shadow it reflected somehow made visible His Spirit. Every line and uneven curve on it was not made by accident nor was it useless, but has the capacity to share a message of loving acceptance and life-giving meaning.

 

And the best part, the "one true thing that matters", was the inscription of the cross at the bottom of the pot's inner base - inviting me to remember to carry Him within me always. "The form does not matter. What matters is that you carry me within you." 

 

"Yes, my dearest Potter, your cross is inscribed within my pot. Thank you so much for putting it there. Help me to always be mindful of it, that I may share it with all whom You love."  :o) 

 

 

                                                           photo by P. V. Baltazar, SJ.

 

 

 

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What Matters Most

Just like how a mother holds and nurtures her little child until she learns to stand on her own and comes to appreciate the beauty and goodness within her and in others, so does our loving Father faithfully hold us, and patiently wait for us to grow in wisdom about what matters most in life.  He steadfastly waits until we finally learn what St. Therese of the Child Jesus simply knew in her heart:  that richness in life consists in doing everything, including and especially even the littlest and seemingly simplest and most unimportant things, with love for Him. 

 

Just like a mother who feels with her little child even before she or he can form any word, He too knows everything that is contained in our heart, and everything that springs from it. Whatever we do out of love for Him is noticed and infinitely held precious by Him.  

 

Thank you St. Therese for reminding us about what matters most in life and love, through the story of your soul. 

 

Happy Feast Day  J

 

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Ball of Fire

 

Twilight for me is one of the best moments of the day. It is that brief period of time right before the sunset, when outdoors, it is no longer bright, but it is also not yet too dark to see without artificial light. There is a certain softness and gentleness in the air, and a quieting down of the spirit in preparation for rest.  Peace. Tranquility. Quiet. These are what I associate the moment with.
 

It is really such a joy to notice the sky as it begins to glow, slowly turning from blue to yellow, to orange, red, violet and then to a deep blue before darkness.  And to watch as the ball of light very gradually descends into the horizon. The moment is very brief, but the ball of fire never seems  rushed nor harrassed. It just fades out gently, peacefully, quietly.
 

 

My simple camera can not seem to do justice to what our naked eye can see when we look at the sky. The beauty of the moment is so much more than what one can capture and hold.

This reminds me of His love!  The big ball of fire that is His great and deep love.  His love that constantly hovers around us. That is ever present like sunlight, that leaves its mark like sunburn on our skin which we only notice after, that at times seems to withdraw from us or hide itself in darkness.

Twilight allows us to see the sun more clearly. If we extand our hand in its direction, we can even imagine holding it in our palm. Twilight reminds me of  special moments when we are able to see more clearly the constancy of His love, know its beauty, experience its tranquilty.  The sacredness of these brief moments brings a real feeling of security.  His is a fire that  never goes out.  A Love that constantly burns, both in light and in darkness. 

 

 

 

 Thank you my dearest Lord, for Your great big ball of fire, for the fire of your constant love!

 

  

 

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For Your Eyes Only

 

                                                                              photo by j. chow

 

While driving this morning, I turned on the radio and heard Sheena Easton's voice singing the song below. It's  actually from a James Bond movie, but for some reason what entered my consciousness was the gospel scene this morning of Bartimaeus, the blind man who asked to be able to see, and who upon being healed, immediately began following Jesus on his way. I wondered about their encounter, and the level of emotion between them - which was surely far greater than what was described in the gospel. Perhaps Bartimaeus at that moment would have felt more like Sheena Easton, singing with all intensity, "For Your Eyes Only"!   :o)

 

 

For your eyes only, can see me through the night

For your eyes only, I never need to hide

You can see so much in me, so much in me that's new

I never felt until I looked at you

 

For your eyes only, only for you

You'll see what no one else can see, and now I'm breaking free

For your eyes only, only for you

The love I know you need in me, the fantasy you've freed in me

Only for you, only for you

 

For your eyes only, the nights are never cold

You really know me, that's all I need to know

Maybe I'm an open book because I know you're mine

But you won't need to read between the lines

 

For your eyes only, only for you

 

You see what no one else can see, and now I'm breaking free

For your eyes only, only for you

The passions that collide in me, the wild abandoned side of me

Only for you, for your eyes only

 

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